Ancient Runes
by books4evah
Summary: The marauders and Lily and gang all share one class. Ancient Runes. Who knew that one subject could bring up so much controversy?
1. Mary

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

AN: Just felt like doing a proper usual James/Lily fic. With a partially insane Sirius.

**Mary**

"Bye Mary!" Mary's older brother called. He was dropping Mary off for her seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"Bye Johnny!" Mary replied, tightly hugging her brother.

"Seriously. Stop calling me that. My name is John."

Mary sighed, and said, "Aw man… You take the fun out of everything!"

"That's my job, Mary."

Mary waved to her brother, as he left the station. She loved her older brother. He was hilariously funny, and a loving older brother. Although, he was a bit _unique_. She knew for a fact that her brother would prefer wearing a suit and tie to his school than day clothes, and he would, if it weren't for the fact they'd get really dirty.

Mary turned, and walked through the barrier, to find her friends.

Mary fell into a guy in front of her.

"Oh! Sorry! My bad- oh, it's you, Black."

Sirius looked back and said, "You really should watch where I'm going, MacDonald."

"Shut your trap. And you better have been practicing your beating skills, cause I'll be whooping your arse during Quidditch practice."

"Whatever," and he walked off, no doubt to find his friends.

Mary shook her head at him. Sirius was a player, and a prick too. She had to wonder how he had become a beater on the team, along with her, because if Newton was right, then the broom shouldn't have been able to fly up and inch, with the size of his head.

Suddenly, there was a flash of brown hair, and Mary was engulfed in a hug. Mary looked up to see her friend, Alice, hugging her.

"Great to see you, Alice!"

"You too!" Alice said, letting go. Mary could see Lily standing behind Alice, grinning.

"So, Alice," Lily asked. "Is this the year you will finally go out with Frank?"

Alice blushed, and Mary asked, "So, Lily, is this the year you'll finally get Potter off your back?"

"Hopefully."

Alice smirked, and said, "Mary, is this the year you will finally kill Sirius?"

I squealed and said, "I know! I can't wait!"

Another girl walked through the barrier, and saw Mary. 'Mary! How dare you! I didn't get a single letter from you!"

"Sorry, Marlene," Mary replied, sheepishly.

"And I was able to correspond with Lily and Alice all summer! Why not you?"

"Well, my parents dragged me to the States."

"Really?" Lily asked. "I've never been there. Always wanted too, though. What was it like?"

"Well, I went to the big cities, New York, Chicago, and Washington D.C. New York had so much shopping!"

Marlene perked up. "What? I must go there!"

"Right… and Chicago, that was pretty much the same essential. But, Washington D.C., that was cool."

"How so?"

"Well, the other two cities were really tall, but D.C. wasn't. I think my mum said that there was actually a law with a height limit on the buildings."

"Oh, yeah! I read about that! They want the Washington Monument to be easily seen."

None of us were particularly surprised that Lily knew this. "Well, anyway, if you ever go there, you must see the FDR memorial! It's the best sight there!"

Sirius walked by again, with Remus, James, and Peter.

"Ahh… Marlene, my lovely lady. Wonderful to see you," Sirius said, bowing, and offering his hand to Marlene.

"Sirius, same goes to you. Maybe we can meet up on the train for a bit of…" Marlene said, smirking.

"It would be a pleasure."

As soon as the group walked off, Mary turned to Marlene. "You want to snog _him_??"

"Mary, Mary, Mary. It's all for the sake of the little black book. I have snogged every guy – in a suitable age range- who isn't in Slytherin, except for Sirius. I need him to complete my collection."

"Still, that's pretty sick."

Lily cut in, "I'd never be able to do it. Every single guy in our school either ignores me, doesn't know I exist, or mocks me. At least Marlene commands respect."

Mary scoffed. "Yeah. But do you really want _that_ kind of respect?"

Marlene, on the other hand, looked hurt. When the group reached their compartment, she said, "But that's not true Lily."

"How?"

"Everyone knows you exist, not with the way James has been going on."

"So? What about everything else?"

"Guys worship you! They just are in denial that they love you."

"Huh?"

"Come on. They don't want to think that they're in love with a know it all stuck up."

"What did you just call me?"

"You can't deny it. You were sort of prissy in first and second year."

"Well, what about the mocking part?"

"Who mocks you?"

"Potter."

"Idiot! He really does love-"

At this point, the door slid open, to show James. His hair was messy as usual, and he had grown, putting him up at 6'2". That was something that Mary had to smirk at. It would be very hard for Lily to kiss him when she finally did. Mary, Alice, and Marlene were all supporters of the two getting together. Of course, it wasn't hard for her to notice, seeing as Lily was only 5'8", still pretty tall, but significantly shorter than James.

"Did I just hear someone insult Lily?" he asked, concernedly.

"Ooh, his Lily senses are tingling," Mary muttered to Alice, who giggled.

Lily looked coolly at James. "I believe this is none of your business, Potter."

Lily shoved him outside, and slammed the door closed.

Mary heard James whisper. "She touched me! On the chest!" and listened as he scampered off, before snorting.

Alice looked at Marlene. "He didn't ask Lily out, not once!"

"The apocalypse is coming!" Marlene screeched, dramatically.

"Yeah, but his Lily senses are still running," Mary retorted.

"Our little boy's growing up!"

"And I think Lily's going to fall head over heels for him."

"Would you two please stop talking about me like I'm not in the room?"

"Aw man! You're such a spoil sport!"

They sat there for a while, talking. Mary brought out a set of Exploding Snap, and was playing it with Alice. Marlene was examining an article titled 'How to Schemishly Plot Your Friend Into Falling in Love With Her Worst Enemy' while cackling. Every so often, Lily looked up from her book (_The Three Musketeers_) to send a weird glance at Marlene, when she cackled to loud.

"Okay, Marlene. This is really starting to scare me."

"Oh, don't worry."

Lily glanced at her watch and exclaimed, "Bloody hell! The prefects meeting started one minute ago! Alice! We gotta go!"

Lily dragged Alice out, who was protesting that she had to get her badge, in order for entry. A minute later the tow came back in, as Lily had also forgotten her badge.

The two then left, hurriedly.

Marlene turned to Mary. "You'd think she'd be more responsible, as Head Girl and everything."

"I wonder who the Head Boy is."

"Remus."

"That's what I was going to say!"

"Eh, he'd be perfect as Head Boy. But, it'd be cool if it was James."

"That'd be hilarious!"

"Which is why I tried to bribe Dumbledore into choosing James, but, it didn't work."

"You bribed a teacher??"

"Well, it wasn't for a grade! Though, maybe I should try that sometimes."

"Jeez, Marlene."

"Anyway, you should read this article."

Marlene shoved the article into Mary's hands. Mary read it through.

"I mean, it's perfect! They are sooo meant to be together!"

Mary nodded.

"And, Alice will love it too! I'll show it to her later. I couldn't exactly show it to the both of you in front of Lily."

"So, this is why you were cackling."

"Yeah, and cuz it's fun."

"It is?"

"Yeah! You should totally try it!"

And the two both started cackling madly.

Ten minutes later…

"You're right! It is fun!"

"When am I wrong?"

"Let's do it again!"

AN: That's the first chapter. This will NOT be all from Mary's point of view. Just to tell you.


	2. Sirius

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: Enjoy! And, if you have questions, or suggestions, just review!

**Sirius**

Sirius was thinking about oysters, and how he liked to eat them, when James trudged in.

"Dude, did the evil lamas attack you again?"

Remus sent Sirius a strange look, and asked, "It's Lily, isn't it?"

"She'll never accept me!" James wailed.

"Dude," Sirius repeated. "You should have listened to me, and gone out with Bob."

James glared at him. "Padfoot, Bob is an oyster."

"So? What's your point?"

Remus rolled his eyes at Sirius and said, "He is not gay, and dose not participate in cross-species sex."

"I do! And anything Sirius Black does, everyone else should do!"

James flopped onto the seat opposite Remus and Sirius, and said to Remus, "You'd think that Lily would hate him more! I mean, he's worse than me!"

Remus shook his head. "But she's not in denial about Padfoot."

James looked blankly at Remus.

"She's in denial about you."

James continued with his blank look.

"That means that she doesn't want to be in love with you, and so forces herself to think that you are an arrogant prat!" Remus huffed out in one breath.

James perked up. "Well, I have no idea on how to change that!"

Remus looked back to his book.

"Moony! You're good with girls! Please! Help me!"

Remus looked up. "I suppose you have to grow up first."

"What do I have to do for that?"

"Well, stop goofing around, be serious about your studies. No more pranks, and definitely, no asking Lily out."

James face fell, and Sirius blanched. "No pranks? What! That's- no- that's- IMPOSSIBLE!"

Remus looked at Sirius. "Well, I'm afraid that's what James must do if he wants any chance with Lily."

James sighed. "I'll do it, but what do you mean, 'any chance with Lily'?"

"Well, Lily may not actually have feelings for you. But, if you do mature, she might grow to like you better, and you might become friends."

James grinned. "Even if we don't end up together, I'm willing to do it just to be friends with her!"

"That's just great. He's lost his mind," Sirius muttered.

A cry of distress was soon heard from the compartment next door. It sounded a lot like Lily.

Sirius squealed. "AH!! It's a ghost! Save me, Moony!"

Sirius jumped onto Remus' lap.

"Padfoot. You live in a castle with ghosts. You're never afraid. What is your problem?"

Remus dropped Sirius onto the ground.

James looked upset. "That's Lily! I gotta go and help her!"

Sirius held James down. "No. Lily is not stealing my best mate!"

"Moony! Please! Make Padfoot let me go!"

"Sorry, Prongs, but, that would o against what you just agreed to do."

"But Moony, that makes life so much harder!"

"Life is unfair, Prongs."

They sat there for a few seconds, with James grumbling. Then Remus jumped up, and grabbed James. "We've got to go! The prefects meeting!"

Sirius looked oddly at Remus. "But Prongs isn't a prefect!"

"He's Head Boy!"

Sirius started cracking up.

As Remus dragged out James, James muttered, "This is exactly why I didn't want to tell him."

Sirius realized he was all alone. Remus and James had left for the prefects meeting, and Peter was out to the bathroom. Jeez, that boy must need a lot of pampering.

_Or maybe he's snogging. Sniff, _sniff_. I am so proud._

Sirius decided to go to the prefects meeting. So, he found James' trunk, and dug out the invisibility cloak. He threw it over himself, and walked to the front of the train.

Along the way, he saw Lily and Alice. _He-he. For once, Lily's the late one._

Lily slammed open the door, and entered with Alice, Sirius following behind.

"Sorry I'm late!" Lily apologized.

She looked around for an empty seat, and found the only one left next to James (Alice had taken the one next to Frank Longbottom).

"Potter! What are you doing here? This is the prefects' compartment! You aren't a prefect!"

James blushed and looked away abashedly. _James. Will he ever learn?_

Remus smirked, and spoke up. "Yeah, he's not a prefect."

"Then what exactly is he doing here?!"

"He's Head Boy."

Lily started to hyperventilate. James started to stand up, and she fainted.

James fell onto his knees next to her, a look of guilt on his face.

"Is she alright?" Hestia Jones, a sixth year prefect, asked concernedly.

Avery snorted. "I hope she's dead. The filthy mudblood."

The other Slytherin prefects laughed with him.

Sirius could see that only great restraint kept James from hexing the lot; a vein in his temple was pulsing madly. Remus looked very impressed at this.

Alice, on the other hand, had pulled out her wand, and stepped towards the Slytherins.

"Don't you dare insult my friend! _Impedimenta_!"

Frank rushed over, to hold back Alice. The Slytherins were laughing, yet again. "Of course. Such a blood traitor would stick up for a mudblood."

James looked up for the first time. "I am Head Boy, and I'm deducting twenty points from Slytherin for the use of foul language."

Remus looked at the Slytherins. "I think it's fair that you get your mouths cleaned. _Scourigfy!_"

The Slytherins' mouths were bubbling with soapy water. Sirius took note of that; it'd make a good prank. He didn't know that Remus had it in him.

James took Lily's wrist. "There's a pulse."

Emmeline Vance, a seventh year Hufflepuff looked at Lily. "James. She's going to need mouth to mouth recessitation."

Alice started giggling from Frank's arms, who left her go, sheepishly.

The color grew in James' cheeks. "Um… I don't know. I've never actually done that before."

A boy from Ravenclaw piped up, with a smirk on his face. "I can do it!"

James looked like he wanted nothing more than to punch that kid. "No, I think Remus will do it."

James pulled down Remus, and pushed Remus into Lily's face. Remus opened Lily's mouth, and pinched her nose, leaning in. He closed his mouth onto hers; breathing into it for five seconds, then came up for five seconds. He repeated this for about two minutes, when Lily's eyes opened. It was when Remus' mouth was on hers.

She threw him off, wiping off her mouth. "Ugh! Potter! Thought you could take advantage of me?"

James' face reddened. Sirius snorted.

Alice held Lily back. "Calm down, Lily. You weren't breathing."

"Oh. But why was Potter doing it?"

"If you paid attention, that was really Remus."

"Oh, well, anyways, onto the patrolling schedules. Gryffindors will patrol the upper east section, and Ravenclaws get the upper west. Hufflepuffs patrol the lower west, and Slytherins, the lower east. Fifth years will patrol on Fridays through Saturdays. Sixth years, Sunday through Monday. Seventh years will patrol the rest. The Head Boy and Head Girl will patrol every night, unless busy, and the whole school…"

Sirius left here. This stuff was boring. He already had got a laugh seeing James' face when Remus was reviving Lily.

Now he was off to find Peter, and his snogging partner. If she existed.

Or he.

But Sirius hoped it wasn't a he. That would be creepy.

But it would explain why he once caught Peter sniffing his boxers.

Ewww…. Disturbing images!


	3. Lily

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: Enjoy! And just about the D.C. part in the first chapter. I live right outside of D.C., and felt like including it. And, the FDR memorial is the best place there! If you ever visit, go there!

**Lily**

Lily felt red. Remus had just kissed her.

Now, many girls would swoon at that prospect (Hey! Remus wasn't the third hottest guy in the school, after James and Sirius, for nothing!). But, this was Lily's first kiss.

Little did she know, it was Remus' first kiss too.

Though, it could hardly be called a kiss. It was really just reviving her.

But, in essence, it was still her first kiss.

She decided the best way to get over it was to go over the patrolling schedules. It was even worse that James was sitting next to her.

But, the weird thing was, he wasn't even looking at her. Usually, when he was near her, she could feel his gaze burning a whole in the back of her head.

Lily decided she liked it. Or did she?

No. She definitely hated all the attention James- Potter gave her.

Though, it did boost her self-confidence.

What? She couldn't be falling for Potter!

She was not falling for him. She just liked the attention

But, she wondered, what was wrong with him? He usually fawned over her. Did he have a new girlfriend?

That would suck.

NO. It'd be heaven!

Bt imagine what it would be like to walk in on them snogging.

Ew. Disturbing images.

"Right, well, remember. Prefects are not allowed to deduct points. They may report a student to a teacher, and suggest a punishment, but it is up to the teacher. You may go now. And Potter, stay. I have to talk to you about Head duties."

The students began shuffling out, and Lily called to Alice, "Wait for me outside! This shouldn't take long."

As soon as everyone was out, Lily turned to James. "Okay. We are heads, and therefore have special privileges, and more responsibilities. We have to patrol every night, unless there is some personal matter, like Quidditch Practice, or Slug club."

Lily shuddered thinking of the Slug club.

"We can deduct points, but we must refer to a teacher before assigning detentions. We are free to dole out the detention, though. But, I expect you to be responsible with this. I don't want any unfair punishments, or I will personally see to it that badge is removed."

James simply said, "Wouldn't dream of it."

Lily looked at him oddly. That was out of character. "Well, Dumbledore also decided to test run an idea of his this year, and we'll be in charge of it."

"And, it is…?"

"We have to plan a Yule Ball. Also, you'll be patrolling for the next half hour. I'll take over form there."

Lily stood, and gracefully exited the compartment, to find Alice waiting patiently for her. Alice looked at her. "He didn't ask you out once!" she squealed, causing Lily to cover her ears.

The two made their way back to their compartment with Mary and Marlene.

The two were still cackling.

"Um… Guys?" Lily asked.

The two looked up, to see Lily, and immediately sobered up.

Lily found her book, and continued reading, blocking out everything else.

Marlene and Mary were busy whispering into Alice's ear their plans. Alice began to cackle with them.

Five minutes into the three's cackling Lily was fed up, and cried out, "Shut up already!"

They just kept on cackling.

Lily moaned. "How did I end up with these three as friends?"

A few minutes later, the three sobered up. "Lily?" Marlene asked.

"What?" Lily barked. She hated to be interrupted from her reading.

"Well, we've been taking this witch weekly quiz. SO far, it's worked out perfectly on everyone we've tried it on, and we want you to try it."

"No."

"Please?"

"Pretty please?"

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

After a few minutes of this torture, Lily gave in.

"Alright, but I expect you to shut up for the rest of the train ride, and not laugh at my answers."

"Fine."

Lily looked at the magazine. It was title

_**Who's Your Perfect Guy?**_

_**The romancer, the player, the brain, or the softy?**_

Lily didn't know this, but her friends had connected each to a marauder.

_**1. What is your idea of a perfect date?**_

_**a. A candlelight dinner, with your favorite food**_

_**b. A trip to the newest, hottest club in town**_

_**c. A discussion about your favorite book**_

_**d. Getting a butterbeer together**_

Lily bit her quill. It was either a or c. But, she could always do c with her friends or Remus. A was something special. Definitely a.

Lily circled a, and moved on to the next question.

_**2. What do you look for in a guy?**_

_**a. How sweet he is, how much he loves you…**_

_**b. Looks! Definitely!**_

_**c. Brains. He's got to be smart.**_

_**d. I want a suck-up, a pushover. After that, I don't care.**_

Again, it was between a and c. This was harder to choose, though. Then, Lily decided that it would be pointless to be in relationship without feeling loved. She circled a.

_**3. Which of the following is your ideal birthday gift?**_

_**a. A bouquet of flowers (my favorite), with a note, and maybe a bar of chocolate.**_

_**b. A good snog!**_

_**c. A nice book.**_

_**d. Anything really.**_

A, Lily decided. She could get a book from anyone else. Actually, she got a plethora of books. Sometimes, she got too many.

_**4. What sounds like the best way to spend Valentine's Day with your significant other?**_

_**a. Curling up by the fire together, with a mug of hot cocoa.**_

_**b. Snogging! And maybe going to a club.**_

_**c. An intelligent discussion on Gollapotts laws.**_

_**d. Spending the day together, no matter what we're doing.**_

Lily was surprised. For once, d was in the running. But still, it was definitely a.

_**5. What would you prefer your significant other to tell you?**_

_**a. I love you.**_

_**b. You're hot.**_

_**c. Great job on that potions essay!**_

_**d. You're nice.**_

Lily sighed. It was obviously a. What sane girl wouldn't pick a?

_**6. What sounds like the best future with your significant other?**_

_**a. Living (and dying) together, and happy.**_

_**b. Future? He's now, and just now!**_

_**c. Living together, and learning the most we can.**_

_**d. He's going to stay with me? Sweet!**_

Lily circled a, obviously. The people who made these quizzes were idiots.

_**7. Pick one! Quick!**_

_**a. Dark haired stranger.**_

_**b. Hottie!**_

_**c. Brainiac**_

_**d. Sweetie**_

Lily decided to go with a. It hadn't failed her yet.

She skipped over the part about which letter she picked the most, and flipped the page, to the a part.

_**You Want a Romancer!**_

_**You feel that you need someone who cares for you. You want a long term relationship, that's meaningful. You also aren't choosing reasons other than love. You aren't choosing someone for looks, brains, whether they are friendly or not, to get back at someone, or to feel good about yourself. You want someone for romance, and that's it. You are willing to give up on having a significant other if there is no love involved.**_

Lily looked at the paper, and tossed it back to Marlene. "Here. This is stupid."

The three looked at the results, a continued cackling madly. Seeing as this didn't die down, Lily stepped out into the corridor.

Those girls could be very annoying at times.

As she was walking down the halls, a voice said, from behind her, "Hello, mudblood."

AN: Ooh! Cliffhanger! And my first one, at that! Okay, maybe not exactly. Now, for the idiots out there, the romancer James, the player Sirius, the brain Remus, the softy Peter. About the softy, I know that really apply to Peter, but for the sake of the magazine, I had to make it sound somewhat appealing.


	4. James

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: Here you go. The fourth chapter. I hope you like it.

**James**

James was patrolling the trains. It was really boring, seeing as it was usually the marauders who did stuff, and he wasn't really in a position to do anything bad. And even if he was, he wouldn't he could never go against his word to Lily. Or, even worse, upset her. James shuddered at this thought. He hated to see Lily upset. Though, as Sirius pointed out countless times, Lily was pretty hot when she's mad. But, it's the idea.

He had still done, as not to anger Lily. He had broken up two snogging sixth years. It had looked like they were going to do more then snog. He had also helped a second year that had skinned her knee. He had deducted points from some horse-playing fourth years, and that was about it.

The only upside (besides the possibility of pleasing Lily) was that he had a lot of time to think to himself. He was starting his seventh year, and he had to get NEWTs in all of his subjects. He wanted to become an auror. That required many different NEWTs. But, he also had to take Ancient Runes; His mother had wanted him to. It was kind of bad for him, because it meant one more subject to study. Though, luckily for James, he was the second to top student in the school. After Lily. So, even without studying, he could easily pass the other subjects. Especially Transfiguration. He had completed more in that subject by fifth year than most people complete in their lifetime. But, that was a different story.

He still had to worry about Ancient Runes. That was the only subject he was bad at, and he needed to ace it, or be disowned. Seriously. What James needed was a tutor. And it was a shame that he had resolved not to force himself onto Lily, because she was the only person in the year that was reasonably good at it.

James heard a voice, then, muttering, "Seriously! Why am I friends with them? They cackle evilly way to much!"

James realized this was Lily, and only remarkable self-restraint kept him from going and flirting with her. _No! She will kill me, and I'll never get a chance with her. All this work for nothing._

Suddenly, a shout rang out, muffled midway. James perked up. He couldn't hear anything now, and had no idea where the shout could be coming from. _Please don't be Lily. Plese don't be Lily. Or a first year._

James couldn't stand thinking what might b happening to what was hopefully not Lily (or a first year, that would just be sad). _Now, who would do anything like this? Slytherins._

James rushed to the end of the train, were the Slytherins always sat. He looked in every compartment, and nothing against the rules was going on, until he got to the end.

The very last compartment's window was covered by someone's black robe. James knew that whoever was in there wouldn't be too happy when he barged in, but, he did so anyways.

As he walked in, he saw Avery and Mulciber, with a nervous looking Snape in the background. Lily was on the ground, looking as if she had been pushed there. There was a tie around her mouth, to muffle any noise.

"What do you think you're doing?" James' voice rang out.

Mulciber and Avery slowly turned around, and Snape looked very relieved.

"Ah, our blood traitor Head Boy," Mulciber sneered. "Come to rescue his one true love."

James felt the color on his cheeks rise, and saw Snape's face twist unpleasantly. Lily just looked relieved that someone had helped her.

Avery snorted. "Yes. He probably couldn't do any better than a simple mudblood."

James' voice rose. "Watch your language, Avery. We don't want you to lose your prefect's badge, do we?"

Mulciber laughed cruelly. "Come to watch the show, have you? Watch us torture your precious mudblood!"

James burst. "Fifty points from Slytherin for your use of language and attacking you Head Girl. I will be talking to Professor Slughorn when we get to Hogwarts, and rest assured, you will each receive detention."

Avery laughed. "Our Head Girl, you say? She is no superior of mine!" and he spat down at Lily, Mulciber doing the same.

"I don't know if this is allowed, so, excuse me, Lily, but _Stupefy!_"

The three fell to the ground, unconscious. James reached down, to Lily, and offered her a hand. She took it, and he helped her up. As soon as she was up, she tore off the tie, and said, "Thank you!"

"No problem. But, is it okay that I stunned them? Or should I wake them up? Or-"

"James, it's fine. If the students are not obeying, and acting in a harmful manner towards another student, then it is perfectly alright to use non-harmful spells against them."

"Should I wake them up?"

"NO! I mean, no, please don't."

"Alright, here, let's leave this compartment."

James slid open the door, and the two exited.

Lily was still looking a bit shocked. "I can't believe you're acting so grown-up."

"I'm Head Boy, aren't I?"

"Wait… Are you going to demand something in exchange for this? Like going out on a date. Urgh."

"No. I was simply doing my job as Head Boy."

"Still, it doesn't make sense that James Potter would do that."

"You told me not to."

Lily looked at him, amazed. "I'm sorry, James. Here, I know it's only been fifteen minutes of your watch, but I'll take over. I'm sure you want to talk to your friends. Consider it a thank you."

"Are you sure, because I will keep patrolling if you want me too-"

"James."

"Yes?"

"I'm sure."

Lily turned her back to walk away, but turned around and walked back to him. "But, really, thank you, James."

Lily kissed him on the cheek, and walked off, peering into compartments along the way.

James couldn't think. He was completely replaying that in his head. She thanked him. She had a civil conversation with him. She kissed him.

James was most likely the happiest person on earth right then.

He skipped off to tell Remus.

AN: Sorry if that's short, but, there wasn't much else to put in. I can't exactly have him doing a witch weekly quiz, can I? But if I did, he'd also get the romancer (Lily would be the romancer, Marlene the player, Alice the brain, and Mary the softy). But really, I couldn't add anything else. I know it's tacky, so REVIEW and help me improve on that aspect of my writing. Also REIVEW if you want to see a specific thing happen in the story (It's not guaranteed to happen, but it probably will, unless it doesn't fit at all). Or, if you want me to clarify something REVIEW. So basically, to solve all of your problems, just REVIEW.

Warning: REVIEWing will not help any personal issues such as getting that guy you've been eyeing or getting an A on your History paper.


	5. Alice

Disclaimer: I. Own. Nothing.

AN: Enjoy!

**Alice**

"Alice!"

Alice turned around. She had been walking through the corridor on the train.

"Lily! What is it?"

"C'mon! We have to go change!"

Lily dragged Alice by the arm back to their compartment, where they found Marlene and Mary already changed.

"Guys! You're so late! We're going to get there in like five minutes!"

Alice and Lily quickly changed. As soon as they were done, Lily sat in the far corner, continuing to read her book. Alice joined Marlene and Mary, who started frantically whispering to her.

"We were spying on Lily-"

"And she was abducted by Slytherins!"

Alice gasped.

"And James rescued her!"

"And she actually had a civil conversation with him!"

"And she kissed him on the cheek!"

Alice looked at the grinning girls before her. "I think she was just kissing him in thanks."

"Aw man… you take the fun out of everything!"

"Right. Well, I think if we want to set Lily and James up at all, we must get the marauders to help us."

"Good thinking!"

"But, how?"

"Well, we can't have you, Mary, because you're on rocky terms with Sirius. So, it's between us, Marlene."

"Ill do it!"

"Yeah, you just can't pass up a chance to stare at Sirius!" scoffed Mary.

"Hey! He's hot!"

"Just like Frank," sighed Alice.

"Great, I'm stuck with you two lovebirds."

"Hey! I'm only infatuated with Sirius! There's a difference," Marlene retorted.

"And anyways, you're in love with Woods. Everyone knows it."

"Shut up."

Mary blushed.

They sat through the rest of the train ride in relative silence.

When the train pulled to a stop, Alice had to stay behind, as Mary and Marlene left, to get Lily up, and stop reading her book.

As they stepped off the train, they heard the usual noises: Hagrid calling the first years, and a tremendous amount of chatter. Lily and Alice helped herd a group of first years towards Hagrid, when they heard a loud shriek.

Lily spun on her heel, Alice following, and they searched the crowd for the cause f the sound.

Alice heard Lily gasp, and turned to see her staring straight ahead, a mixture of horror, disgust, and shock on her face.

Alice followed Lily's gaze, and saw a small girl, probably a first year, sprawled on the ground. A large Slytherin was standing over her, and said, "And that better teach you to never, ever, mess with me again!"

The Slytherin stomped off, or attempted to, as James stopped him.

Alice turned to Lily, whose face was still indecipherable, and decided she was thinking that James was popping up in her life way too frequently.

"Twenty points from Slytherin for hurting a fellow student. I'll let you off with a warning, but do that again, and I'll have to give you detention."

The Slytherin gave James a look of distaste, before walking off. James knelt down next to the girl, and Lily rushed over.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

The girl nodded, timidly.

"Oh, are you scared of me? Hm… That kid sure did ruin this school's reputation."

The girl smiled feebly.

"I swear. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm Head Boy. Although, I'm a bit surprised myself."

"Why?" the girl asked.

"Well… I like to taunt Slytherins- the guy who hurt you; he's a Slytherin- for being mindless idiots. They're usually really cruel. So, I think they deserve a taste of their own medicine. Don't you?"

The girl giggled, and nodded. Lily knelt down next to the girl, and asked, "Are you okay?"

The girl looked at Lily, and pulled up her pant leg. There was a large scratch, which was beginning to bleed.

"Ooh. That looks like it hurt," Lily said.

The girl nodded, and tears started to form in her eyes.

"Are you alright?"

The girl shook her head.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just that, I don't want to look wimpy! Not on the first day!"

"I understand what you mean."

James looked at the girl. "What's your name, again?"

"Celestina Warbeck."

"And what year are you in?"

The girl held up one finger.

"First!" Lily exclaimed. "You're going to be late! We have to get you to Hagrid!"

Alice stepped in. "Here, Lily, James, you go patrol, or whatever, I'll take Celestina."

James and Lily thanked her, and left Celestina with Alice.

Alice looked down to Celestina, a grin on her face. "You are quite lucky."

"How?"

"Those two were our Head Boy and Head Girl."

"Cool."

"And you know what?"

"What?"

"My friends and I have been wanting to get them together for a long time."

"They looked like they could be together."

"That's the point! Usually, they fight, and fight. Or, more like Lily does the fighting. James is practically mad for her. But, with you, they were all calm. Lily could tolerate James!"

Celestina looked too stunned to speak. So, Alice spoke instead. "You know what? I've taken a liking to you, Celestina."

"Really?"

"Yes. In fact, I think James and Lily have too. And all my friends will too."

"But, when am I meeting your friends?"

"Oh, if you want too, I'd be honored if you would help me get my friends together."

"I'd love too!"

"Well, we better hope you're in Gryffindor."

They could now see Hagrid and the other first years, just about to get into the boats.

"So, what do you like, Celestina?"

"I like to sing."

"Hm… You have a pretty voice, you might be good at that. My friends and I all love to sing, but," Alice leaned in close and whispered, "don't tell anybody, but, we suck!"

Celestina started giggling, and they reached Hagrid.

"Hagrid!" Alice called out.

Hagrid turned. "Yeh?"

"I have a first year here, she was knocked down by a Slytherin, and so she's a bit late."

"No problem."

Hagrid ushered Celestina into the last available seat, next to Bertha Jorkins and Rita Skeeter.

Celestina waved to Alice, who waved back.

As she walked off, Alice heard someone whisper, "You're friends with a seventh year?'

Celestina whispered back, "Sort of. And, I met the Head Boy and Girl, and they like me!"

Alice smiled as she walked back to the carriages.

When she got there, she saw Mary and Marlene riding off in a carriage with Remus, Sirius, and Peter. James and Lily were the only other ones there, and there was one carriage left, and a ridiculously tiny one at that.

So, they climbed, in and were squished together, Lily between James and Alice.

A while into the ride, Lily asked, "So, did Celestina make it?"

"Yeah. But barely."

James looked up and said, "I think she's cute."

Lily faked a look of disgust and said, "Isn't she a bit young for you?"

"Oh, you know what I mean!"

Alice looked thoughtful "Actually, I think she's charming. She's a very polite first year."

"Yeah," snorted James. "They seem to be getting ruder and shorter by the years."

"She did seem very sweet," Lily added. "Maybe she'll follow in my footsteps, become a prefect, and Head Girl."

"Or mine. Quidditch star, captain, and Head Boy."

"NO, my way's better."

"Nah. My way."

"Mine."

"No. Mine."

"Mine."

"Mine.

"Shut up!" Alice laughed. "You sound like three year old parents!"

"And hoe does that exactly work out?"

"You're fighting technique is less refined then my five year old brother's!"

Lily pouted, and James smiled at it.

"And, you're not even related to her, but that's a very parental topic to fight about."

Both grew very red, and Alice laughed even more.

"Ah… young love. So beautiful." Alice pretended to wipe a tear off her cheek

She kept laughing, as the other two blushed, until Lily elbowed her pretty hard.

When they arrived at the front entrance, they slowly got out, pretty cramped from their position. They stepped into the hall, enjoying the warmth.

Until, of course, Alice felt a large rush of water engulfing her.

"PEEVES!!"

AN: Remember! Review! Q.S.C. (Questions, Suggestions, Comments)!


	6. Frank

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: Enjoy!

**Frank**

"PEEVES!" Frank heard. His head spun around so quickly, he achieved a crick in his neck.

"Ow…" he moaned, rubbing his neck.

Still he looked, and saw Alice, the love of his life, sopping wet, and glaring at Peeves. Frank sighed, and walked over. Peeves was really annoying sometimes.

"Alice! Want a hand?" he asked.

Alice blushed, and he took that as a yes, and dried her with his wand.

James looked at Frank. "How far along is everything?"

"Oh, the first years will be here any moment, I suggest that you hurry up."

The four rushed in, hoping to be as quiet and unnoticed as was possible. Luckily, it was.

Frank watched Lily and Alice sit down next to Mary and Marlene, and he sat with James and the marauders. He wasn't their best friend, but, along with Evan Woods, he was on pretty good terms with them.

McGonagall came through the doors, with a roll of parchment, and walked up to the sorting hat, which was on a stool in the front of the room. A herd of short people walked in after her, looking amazedly up at the ceiling, and the rest of the room. Henceforth known as first years.

McGonagall looked sternly at the first years, and said, "You will be called up, alphabetically, and wear the hat, who will place you in a house. The house will be your family for the next seven years."

"I feel sorry for the Slytherins. They have an awful family," Sirius said, with a smirk. James, Remus, and Frank snorted. Evan was staring at Mary_ again_. It was quite sickening. Peter just looked confused, and said, "I don't get it."

Remus sighed.

Amelia Bones was called up, and sorted into Ravenclaw.

Lionel Boot was placed in Hufflepuff.

Barry Bulstrode was the first Slytherin, which Sirius booed to, until McGonagall sent a glare his way. Celestina giggled at it.

Carter Chang was out into Ravenclaw as well.

James turned to the others, "Poor guy. He must be Candy's sister."

"She's the president of your fan club, right? Well, than he must be mentally scarred, seeing so many posters of you around the house," Frank joked, getting a scowl from James.

Dedalus Diggle was put in Hufflepuff, Bertha Jorkins in Hufflepuff also.

No one had yet been placed in Gryffindor.

"BOO! NO GRYFFINDORS!" Sirius yelled. McGonagall turned to glare at him, but he ducked behind James just in time. The sorting was stopped, just so McGonagall could call out, "Black! Detention!"

Frank heard Sirius whisper to James, "Already beating you, mate."

James whispered back, "I don't plan on getting one detention this year."

Sirius gapped at James, and Remus patted him on the back. "Good for you mate." Peter fainted, and there was a large clunk, that oddly, no one paid attention to.

Henry McNaire was put in Slytherin, along with Robert Nott.

Rita Skeeter was put in Hufflepuff, causing Remus to whisper, "Is it just me, or are there barely any Gryffindors, and a plethora of Hufflepuffs?"

"What's plethora?" Sirius asked.

Everyone ignored him, and Evan returned from his reverie (a.k.a. staring at Mary) and said, "There aren't _any_ Gryffindors, Remus."

Finally, Amy Spinnet was put in Gryffindor, and a few others following.

"Warbeck, Celestina," McGonagall said.

Celestina walked up. As far as Frank could see, she had crisp, chocolate brown skin, the eyes to match, and long brown hair. She seemed very sweet and nice. She had the same disposition that Frank had always seen on Alice; sweet and caring.

As soon as the hat was an inch above her head, it shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!"

The whole table cheered, quite loudly for her. James waved her over, and she sat next to the marauders.

Bilius Weasley was placed in Gryffindor, Eleanor Zabini in Slytherin, and the sorting was over.

Dumbledore stood up. "As always, I will tell the new students that the forest on our grounds is strictly prohibited for all students. And a few of the older students might want to keep that in mind. Also, fanged Frisbees and dungbombs are against the rules, and will be confiscated if found. And before we fill our empty stomachs, a few words; nitwick, blubber, and tweak."

As delicious dishes popped up, Sirius yelled, "You've never said it better, Dumbledore, my old friend!"

Sirius nearly fell into the food, as he was scooping up everything he could reach and shoveling it in his mouth with his hands. Frank looked down the table, and saw many people looking at Sirius disgustedly.

Frank rolled his eyes, and served himself some steak and kidney pie, along with a generous serving of mashed potatoes and carrots.

They were soon done, and had reverted to talking. Except for Sirius. He was flinging peas at the Slytherins. Frank could see a vein in McGonagall's temple about to burst. Eventually, she did.

"MR. BLACK!" she yelled storming on done.

"Yes, Minnie?" he replied.

Most of the smarter younger students dove under the tables. Including Peter.

"What exactly are you doing?"

"Flinging peas at Slytherins," he replied, cockily, sending her a cheeky grin, that the (almost) entire female population sighed with pleasure at.

"And why, do tell, are you doing that?"

"Cause Slytherins are evil, scrawny, slimy little gits, that's why."

McGonagall hauled up Sirius by his ear, and began to drag him out of the hall.

"Ow! That hurts, Minnie!"

McGonagall yanked even harder, and Sirius' cries were heard from two levels down.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…"

Everyone burst out laughing. Remus shook his head, and asked, "When will he ever learn?"

"Never," replied Celestina. The guys laughed.

"Hey! James! This girl is hilarious!" Evan cried out. Celestina beamed.

"Yep, I know," James grinned, and ruffled Celestina's hair.

They went through the rest of the meal, talking to Celestina, and learning about her.

"Oh, I'm a halfblood," she said. "My mum's a witch, and my dad's a muggle. What about you?"

"I'm a halfblood, too," Remus replied.

"Pureblood," James, Frank, Evan, and Peter said, simultaneously.

"Are there a lot of muggleborns here?"

"Oh yeah," James said, running a hand through his hair, which was a fairly self-conscious habit. "There's a fair amount."

"The girl he's in love with is a muggleborn, actually," Remus added.

"That'd be, um… Lily, right?" Celestina asked.

"Wow! You catch on pretty fast!" Evan exclaimed. James grew deep red, causing Celestina to giggle.

James regained his composure, though, as the conversation continued.

Desert came, and Lily popped by, to say hello to Celestina.

"I think she likes you," Celestina said, simply. James started choking on his food, and Remus had to thump him on the back,

Frank laughed. "I like this girl!"

When dinner was over, they said goodbye to Celestina, who made her way to the fifth year prefect, and they walked up to the common room.

"I'm tired," yawned Peter, as they climbed the stairs to the boys' dormitories.

"Wow, you sure do have a knack for stating the obvious, Peter," Evan snorted.

"Thanks!" Peter said brightly, making the others laugh into their palms.

Frank changed, and settled down into his bed, drifting off into dreams of Alice.

After of course, the door slammed open, revealing Sirius, who was rubbing his ear, and saying, "McGonagall _really_ needs a boyfriend."

AN: Review! Please! Pretty please! Pretty please with a cherry on top! Sirius will ste you up with Bobita (Bob's sister) if you don't!


	7. Marlene

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: Enjoy!

**Marlene**

Marlene skipped down the hall. She was the prettiest girl at Hogwarts. She had a garland of daisies upon her head, and an extravagant crown on her head.

But, Narcissa Black was jealous. So, like all reasonable people, she chased after Marlene with a knife.

Marlene ran away, into the Forbidden Forest, where she met a stag, a wolf, a dog, and a rat. They helped her build a new home, and clean it.

She moved in. Soon, though, Narcissa came, disguised as McGonagall, with a shiny poisoned apple.

Marlene exclaimed, "Ooh! Shiny apple!" and took it, eating a huge chunk. She collapsed onto the ground. Narcissa ran away cackling, until she realized she was stuck as McGonagall forever.

The animals gathered around Marlene, weeping, until, the dog had an idea. He took away the stag. They came back, with the dog now Sirius Black, riding on top the stag, who looked as though he'd collapse under the weight.

Sirius kissed Marlene, and she woke up. He picked her up, and put her on the stag behind him, and this time, the stag did collapse.

Sirius shrugged, and took Marlene behind the trees to snog. The stag transformed into James, and Lily appeared out of nowhere, and the two started snogging.

Suddenly, Sirius was shaking Marlene.

"Marlene! Wake up! WAKE UP!"

Marlene opened her eyes, and saw Mary and Alice standing over her.

"What? I was having a perfect dream that involved Lily and James snogging! And you ruined it!"

Alice sighed, and Mary shook her head, exasperatedly. "You better be glad Lily's already downstairs, cause otherwise she'd beat you up, _badly_ for that."

"Okay, okay, but still, why'd ya wake me up so early?"

"It's not early! It's 8:10! You have forty minutes to get to class and have one of your leisurely breakfasts!"

"Well, now you put it _that_ way…"

Marlene grumbled, and got up so she could change. She quickly changed and grabbed her bag, heading down for the great hall, Mary and Alice following.

Lily greeted them at the entrance saying, "Hi! How are you?"

Marlene glared at Lily. "Some day, I will kill you for your ability to be so perky in the morning."

Lily shrugged, "I got ten hours of sleep, and woke up an hour and a half ago."

"Again, I will kill you. How the bloody hell did you get ten hours of sleep??"

Lily smirked. "I don't stay up all night, snogging Ravenclaws."

Marlene grumbled, and muttered to Mary under her breath, "Yeah, but she'll be doing that to James, soon."

Luckily, Lily didn't hear, so they sat down at the Gryffindor table, next to Celestina, who was eating her eggs daintily.

"Morning, Celestina."

"Hi Lily."

The four watched Marlene pile her plate high with pancakes and waffles, and completely drown them in syrup. Lily looked utterly grossed out. "You're the only person I know who can tie Sirius in his eating habits. That's just sick."

Marlene didn't look up, and said, "I'm in the middle of puberty. I'm a teenager. I'm seventeen. Of course I eat a lot."

"And you're you, so of course it's gross," Alice giggled.

The marauders came sweeping down the steps. Sirius spotted Celestina, and made a beeline to sit next to her. He landed plop in the seat, with James, Remus, and Peter sitting down after him.

"So, Celestina," Sirius began. "You are being offered the opportunity of becoming the first marauderette to exist by the hottest guy in school."

Celestina looked around. "Where's Diggory?"

Sirius scowled, and Celestina laughed. "Just kidding, but, for future reference, you're not James Potter."

Sirius glared at Celestina, and Remus and James roared with laughter.

"That, Celestina," Remus laughed. "Is why you are being offered the opportunity of being a marauderette."

"Take it!" Lily advised.

"Do my ears deceive me?" Sirius asked. "Lily Evans encouraging the marauders."

"Well, it'd for the good of the marauders. They need someone actually funny. And anyway, it'll help her get the guys later on.

"Lily Evans cares about guys?" Sirius joked.

Lily pretended to swoon, and said, "Yes. The truth is, Sirius, I've been wanting to go out with you since first year."

"Then will you?"

"Sure!"

"It's a date."

Everyone was stunned. Lily had agreed to go out with Sirius, of all people. James was discreetly glaring daggers at Sirius.

"A pity date," Lily corrected.

"What?" roared Sirius. "Sirius Black does not need pity dates!"

"Then pray tell, why can't he get Marlene to go out with him?"

Remus said, "Lily, maybe you should also become a marauderette."

"Sorry. I don't hand out with amatures."

"I'm offended!" Sirius cried.

"You always are."

"Right."

"So what exactly does a marauderette do?" Celestina asked.

Sirius replied, "Oh, the usual. Plan pranks, get detention, hang out with us, play matchmaker…"

Sirius winked at Lily and James for the last part. James choked on his pumpkin juice, and Lily buried her face in her cereal.

McGonagall came by, "Here, your schedules."

She gave Alice a stack of papers, and she handed them out to each individual person.

"Hey! What do you all have first!" Mary asked.

"Ancient Runes," they all said simultaneously (except for Celestina who said Charms).

"Sweet. We all have one class together."

Lily compared her schedule to Marlene's. "We only have one other class together. Hmph."

Alice looked at Lily's schedule, "Well, we only have one class we don't have together."

Mary glanced over their shoulders, and said, "I have three classes with all of you."

Sirius took Lily's schedule, "Hey! Lily1 You have the exact same schedule as Prongsie-rella here!"

Lily choked on her pumpkin juice. "What was that?"

Alice looked nervous, along with everyone else. Alice decided to speak up, "Um, you have all of your classes with James."

Lily shook her head, "No, after that!"

No one understood what it was, until Remus had an epiphany. Prongsie-rella! Oh, Sirius just likes to call James that."

Lily started cracking up. "That's hilarious! I might just have to start calling him that!"

They all laughed for a while, until Sirius said, "You know what? I've been thinking…"

Celestina perked up. "Oh, really? That's news! Has your brain imploded yet from all the pressure?"

"Oh, yeah. Hardy-har-har. I'm considering taking away your marauderette ship. Anyways, Lily, I think you need to be in a relationship. It helps with the stress."

"On, I'm not going out with James."

"No! No! I mean Bob!"

The marauders groaned, as Marlene asked, "Who the bloody hell is Bob?"

"Language, McKinnon, language. But, this, is Bob." Sirius pulled a beat up oyster from his bag.

"An oyster. Sirius. I am not going out with an oyster."

"Nut you have to! Bob is the second hottest creature at Hogwarts (after me, of course)!"

Lily sighed, and stood up, saying to her friends, "You coming?" She walked out with them.

As they left, Marlene heard Sirius saying, "How can you turn done Bob? If I were gay, I'd date him in a second!"

Celestina said, "Sirius, you are gay."

Then Sirius jumped up and said, "OH. MA. GAWD!! PRONGSIE-POO!! LILY CALLED YOU JAMES!!"

There was a loud clunk and a look over her shoulder, and Marlene confirmed that Sirius had fainted.

AN: Review!


	8. Remus

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: Enjoy! Oh, and the Princess Bride is an awesome book! You should all read it! It has romance, action, swashbuckling (squeal!) it takes place in the 1500s, and it's hilarious! Sooo much better than the movie, I assure you.

**Remus**

Remus was in Ancient Runes, along with James, Sirius, Peter (who had surprisingly passed this class), Lily, Alice, Marlene, Mary, Frank, and Evan.

None of them were doing very much. It was the first day of school, and so, as usual, the teachers were just reviewing class rules, and what they were going to do over the year.

So, Remus had snuck out his book (_The Princess Bride_; a very good book, as anyone who has read it will tell you). Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Lily also reading a book.

Frank and Alice were staring at each other dreamily. And, the funny thing was, neither had noticed the other one doing it. Remus just _had_ to snigger.

Mary and Sirius were annoying each other, _again._ As Mary sat behind Sirius, she was putting wads of gum into his_ precious_ hair. Remus knew that Sirius was going to throw a large fit when he found out. Sirius loved his hair. Sirius had charmed her shoelaces in a knot, and turned around, _accidentally_ scribbling in red pen on her arm.

Marlene was staring off into space, drooling at the wall. She was probably daydreaming about Sirius. Every other girl in the room (other than Lily, Mary, and Alice) was daydreaming about him. Apparently, most girls wanted to grab him and snog him senseless.

Peter was eagerly looking at the marauders in turn, seeming to be taking mental notes on how to be cool. You'd think he'd have learned that by now, what with hanging around the marauders and all.

Evan looked at Mary. Seeing as she was always a responsible student, he was taking notes. In order to impress her.

James was next to him, and doodling on a scratch piece of paper. There was a snitch, a broomstick, a quaffle, and a bludger…. Can anyone guess the theme? Oh, and let's not forget the countless LEs on the paper. There was a heart with an arrow through it, that read 'JP + LE 4 Ever', an LE with all sorts of lilies embroidering it, and the list goes on.

Remus could only hope that no one else would ever find that paper.

Professor Vector, the Ancient Runes teacher, cleared his throat. "Excuse me. Since none of you seemed to hear, let me clarify. I am assigning seats this year. Get your stuff, and stand up in the back of the room."

There were collective groans, as people sloppily grabbed their bag, and headed for the back. Professor Vector was supposed to be the pushover!

"He's going to make me sit in the front, where I can't sleep!" moaned Sirius.

"Better than sitting in the front next to Evans, and having to constantly listen to Slughorn praising her," Evan muttered back.

The stood dully at the back, although, Sirius wasn't as much standing as piled in a heap on the ground snoring. Without Professor Vector noticing.

"He's always perky at breakfast. He wakes us up every morning at five, bouncing around the common room, and sleeps all the way through classes," Remus scoffed.

"Probably lost the effects of the sugar high by first period," James guessed.

That did make sense. Sirius was one to get very sugar high. He was known for his sugar highs. He would run through the halls yelling 'Oysters will rule the world! Fear them!" He would climb walls pretending to be 'Spider-man'. He once burnt down the library using a stuffed bunny and a quill, cackling evilly the whole time ("I'll show you, McGiver! MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!). No wait, that time he hadn't been sugar high. Oops. But, anyway, Remus still wouldn't talk to him civilly for the rest of the year.

So, it was settled. Sirius had a sugar high.

That might explain what happened to Remus' stash of chocolate.

Oh, that's it. First the library, then the chocolate. NO ONE touched Remus' chocolate.

Sirius is DEAD.

But, it was too bad Professor Vector stopped him from doing that ("Aw man…").

"Alright. Ms. McKinnon, the front row, on the far right. Mr. Potter, you'll be behind her."

Marlene moved there reluctantly. She hated the front. Aw well… At least she was good at this class. Professor Vector loved her. James was a bit more willing. Maybe Lily would be next to him.

"Mr. Lupin, front and center, Ms. Evans, next to him."

The two moved to the front seats, and Remus could hear James' hopes get crushed.

Professor Vector went through the entire seating chart, until Sirius, Peter, Mary, Evan, Frank, and Alice were the only ones left.

"Mr. Black, back row, far left, Mr. Longbottom in front of him. Mr. Woods next to Mr. Black, Ms. MacDonald next to Mr. Woods. Mr. Pettigrew in front of Mr. Woods, and Ms. Prewett next to Mr. Pettigrew's right."

The six moved to their seats, not believing their luck. Sirius, though, was still heaped on the floor. Remus watched as Peter decided to get him to his seat.

"Um… Sirius, get up. Sirius? Get up!"

Frank turned around, "Here, Peter, this should do."

He shot water out of his wand, and sprayed Sirius with it. Sirius jumped up, shaking the water off of him remarkably like a dog.

Professor Vector simply looked up and said, "Mr. Black, please refrain from your _unique_ grooming habits in my class."

The class roared with laughter as Sirius sent a cheeky grin his way (there were numerous sighs), and sat down, his chair backwards, with a leg on either side of the back.

"As we only have five minutes left in class, you may talk amongst yourselves."

As a side effect of his lycanthropy, Remus had very good hearing, and sight. So, he decided to amuse himself, in watching Sirius' antics.

Sirius first turned to Mary and Evan, "If you two start snogging in the middle of the class, I will have no mercy."

Both turned red, but Mary slapped his arm. "Shut up. If you were next to Marlene, you'd be snogging, and I'd shove wads of gum in your hair."

"My hair! What's in my hair?" Sirius squealed, searching his hair. He found the wads of gum and shrieked.

"Mr. Black…" Professor Vector voiced threateningly. "You're an _interesting_ student, but you must figure out your gender on your own time. It will not be tolerated."

Sirius pouted (and more sighs were heard).

So, he took to poking Peter hard in the back.

Peter turned around, "What?"

"I think it is time we discussed the topic of matchmaking."

Remus rolled his eyes. He had no particular desire to listen to what Sirius thought was matchmaking. He decided to bury himself in his book.

It was very interesting really. The book, that is. The theme was true love conquers all, and it had swashbuckling. Sirius had actually read the book before him. That was only because, though, it had a picture of a handsome guy, who had long dark hair on the front, holding a beautiful girl. Sirius claimed it was about him because of the picture. Anyway, for a whole month after reading the book, Sirius carried around a rapier, swishing it at random moments claiming, "it will make the ladies go mad for me." Surprisingly enough, it did. Or maybe it was because he was wearing tights.

He was right in the middle of the scene when Westley gets into a logic fight with Vinzini (Remus' favorite part), when he heard Lily talk.

"Remus? Are you busy… because, I can ask you another time…"

Remus shut the book abruptly (wincing, as he had forgotten to mark the page), "No, I'm not busy."

"Oh, really? Because it looked like…"

"No, I'm not busy. What was it you wanted to ask?"

"Well, I've noticed that James has been acting a little off."

"Like, how?"

"Well, he hasn't asked me out yet."

"Do you expect him to? It's barely been a day!"

"And, it's almost like he's been avoiding me!"

"Well?"

"He's always fawning over me! I just wanted to make sure he was feeling alright!"

"Does that mean Lily Evans cares about whether James Potter is feeling alright?"

Lily blushed. "No. But, he's Head Boy. I feel like I should care."

Remus raised an eyebrow at her.

"I want to know in advance if he's going to skip patrol!"

Remus discreetly rolled his eyes.

Just then, the bell rang.

As they walked out to Transfiguration (they had that together), Remus asked Lily, "So, how was your summer?"

"My sister got married."

"Are you sad she's gone?"

"No way! I've been waiting for this forever! But, she still married herself off to this old fat walrus. And I was stuck drowning in pink taffeta."

Remus chuckled.

"Oh, excuse me for a second, I have to talk to Celestina."

"Why?"

"Well, in our dormitories, we have a back to school slumber party on the first Friday, We've decided to invite Celestina, and I was told to ask her."

"Well, see you in class."

"Bye."

As he sat down in front of McGonagall, Remus realized the marauders had their annual back to school tradition tonight (stay up all night on the first weekend).

"I have to remind them! Damn!"

"Language, Mr. Lupin! Ten points from Gryffindor!"

AN: I actually got the idea for this story in my Italian class. I sit in front of a James, and he was talking about his friends ruining his love life, so I gave him advice, and this popped into my head! Review!


	9. Truth or Dare

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: Enjoy!

**Truth or Dare **

Lily, Alice, Mary, Marlene, and Celestina were all sitting in a circle on the floor of the Gryffindor seventh year girls' dormitory. There was a bottle in between them.

Marlene stood up. "Welcome to the annual girls' back to school sleepover."

"Don't have to be so dramatic about it," Lily muttered.

"But I want to…" Marlene whined. Seeing all the weird stares, she quickly continued. "The first, and main activity will be truth or dare. As the head of all games and activities, I will spin first. Whoever it lands on must pick between truth and dare, and I will give them the question, or dare. As for truth, you must answer correctly, and you must carry out the dare. If you fail to do so (and I will know if you don't tell the truth), there are consequences. Answer wrong for truth, and I have Veritaserum. Don't carry out the dare, and you must kiss the guy you most like. That's about it."

"Marlene, we know how to play truth or dare," Mary said.

"It was for Celestina's sake!"

"I'm pretty sure she knows how to play. Don't you?"

Celestina nodded.

Marlene pouted.

"Just spin the bottle already!" called Alice.

Marlene reached out and spun it. It landed on Mary.

"Truth."

"Who do you like?"

Mary blushed, saying, "No one."

"Oh, we know you like one. Everyone does."

"Fine. Evan."

There was a collection of 'oohs' at this, all coming from Marlene.

Mary reached out and spun the bottle, landing on Celestina.

"Truth or dare."

"Truth," Celestina replied.

"Who do you like?"

"No one."

"Spin the bottle, Celestina," Marlene said.

"Hey!" Mary cried. "Why do you take a 'no one' from her?"

"Simple. She's a first year."

Celestina spun, and it landed on Alice.

"Truth."

"Who-"

"No! Not who do you like, _again_!"

"I was going to ask who she thinks is cute."

"Close enough," Lily grumbled.

"Um… Frank, I quess."

"You guess?" Marlene roared. "You're bloody head over heels for him!"

Alice blushed, and reached for the bottle. She spun it, and it landed facing Marlene.

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare. I'm not a wimp like all of you guys."

Alice appeared to be thinking. No one particularly cared, as she wasn't the best when it came to dares.

After a while she said, "Go to the guys' dormitories, and kiss Sirius. It doesn't matter where."

Marlene began to get up, but Celestina called out, "Wait! How do we know you did it?"

"I'll go!" piped up Mary.

"I don't trust you," Alice said.

"Then you go!"

"I don't trust her," Lily said.

"Why don't we all go?" asked Celestina. There was a mutual murmur of agreement.

The five tiptoed down, the stairs, and up the ones to the boys' dormitories. They stopped in front of the door to the seventh year boys' room, and let Marlene pass. She slowly opened the door.

Inside were six boys, all wide-awake, with heaps of chocolate around. Marlene pounced onto the bed with the most chocolate. She greedily stole some. Looking around, she saw it was Sirius' bed.

"Oops," she said sheepishly, and pecked him on the cheek.

The other girls in the doorframe giggled, and the guys looked at them for the first time.

"What are you doing here?" Remus asked.

"Truth or dare," Celestina said with ease.

"Yeah," Mary added. "Marlene had to kiss Sirius. And we needed to be sure she did."

"Marlene isn't the most trustworthy," sniggered Lily, earning a "Hey!" from Marlene.

"So," Celestina continued. "You want to play spin the bottle with us?"

The girls looked at her in awe, and she winked back.

"Aren't you a bit young for that?" coughed James.

"Oh, I won't be playing. I'll be watching."

Sirius grinned suavely. "I think we will."

"Down to the common room!" exclaimed Marlene.

The rest followed, sheepishly, so Celestina called back, "It's either this or strip poker!"

James looked at Remus. "Ever feel that she knows way to much?"

"All the time."

Though, Remus couldn't help but think that she might be pretty good at matchmaking.

When they got down, they sat in a circle on the ground.

"Okay, remember," Celestina started. "If you spin someone of the opposite gender, you kiss, otherwise, they take it, and spin. After you kiss someone, the person who did not spin the bottle spins."

Celestina put a bottle in the middle, and said, "Sirius, you first."

Sirius spun it, and it landed on Marlene.

They went behind the couch for five minutes, coming back looking very haggled.

"How was it?" giggled Alice.

"Yeah, haven't you been waiting for that forever, Marlene?"

"Yeah. I wanted to put him in my little black book. Now it's done, I never have to look at him again."

"I know!" agreed Sirius.

"Players," Mary muttered. The bottle landed on her, and seeing as she was also a girl, she spun the bottle. It landed on Evan. She blushed, and pecked him on the cheek.

Evan spun, and it landed on Alice. He leaned over and kissed her on the lips, but only for about a second.

Sirius took this opportunity to whine. "None of you are kissing deep enough!"

Alice's spin landed on Frank. She leaned over and pecked him on the lips. But, it grew until Lily whacked them with the bottle, laughing, and saying, "Get a room!"

Alice got off Frank, and turned to smirk at Sirius. "Deep enough for you?"

Frank looked to be contemplating something, until he finally burst out saying, "Alice! Will you go out with me?"

Alice smiled and exclaimed, "I thought you'd never ask!"

The two started snogging again, until Lily whacked them, again.

"Right…"

Frank spun the bottle, and it landed on Peter. Peter spun it, and it landed on Lily.

James looked a little uncomfortable. Then Peter squealed, "Yay! I've always wanted to do this!"

Remus had to semi hold James back, or else James would have pummeled Peter into a fine pulp. He was only just comforted by the fact that Lily looked very apprehensive.

Peter started slobbering over Lily who pushed him off, disgusted. James felt very torn; between unhappy, for Lily who was slobbered over, and anger that was aimed towards Peter.

Lily spun the bottle, and it landed on Sirius. She kissed him, and came back smiling.

"You know… Sirius, you're an awesome snogger."

James felt like committing suicide. Now that he thought about it, there was a toilet bowl upstairs perfect for drowning himself in.

He faked a yawn, and said, "Oh! Look at the time! I think I'll go upstairs."

He walked up the stairs, and into the bathroom, to the toilet.

The others stayed downstairs for a while, continuing the game. Around three in the morning they started heading up.

On the way up, Celestina heard Mary say "Why the bloody hell did she say that Sirius was a good snogger?"

Celestina sighed. "It's so obvious!" she said to herself. "Lily doesn't know it yet, but she likes James. But, he hasn't been paying as much attention to her lately. So, to make him jealous, she is subconsciously going for his best mate. It's simple, in a complicated way."

Celestina walked up to her bed, leaving one person in the common room, unseen, behind a giant armchair.

Cackling evilly, Rita Skeeter wondered to herself, "Who would pay more for this, Camilla, or Candy?"

AN: Review! And, whom do you want to return: Candy or Camilla? I'm not posting another chapter till I get enough votes!


	10. The Project

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: Enjoy! AND THE SQUARE ROOT OF PIE IS 1.377! Sorry, that was one of my random geek outbursts. Hey, it's better than a random Rupert Grint outburst; so don't get me on the subject. So, anyway, enjoy!

**The Project**

Professor Vector walked into his classroom to find students all over the place. There were paper airplanes, swans, doves, etc. flying all around the classroom. Students were conversing huddled in bunches. Someone was sitting at his desk, feet on the desk, sucking on a lollipop. And was that Black sleeping up in the rafters?

It was quite annoying being the teacher of the second to least popular class in the school (muggle studies was the least popular). There were a total of seventeen students in the class (normally, classes held thirty). So, he only had one class for each of the five years he taught. They were all barren, except for the third years, which had filled the class to the brim, surprisingly. Ancient Runes must be a new fad, was what Professor Vector reasoned.

The worst part though, was they were shoved up into a tiny, mangy classroom. It was dusty, dirty, and covered in cobwebs. Even the house elves didn't consider it important enough to clean. And they cleaned EVERYTHING. There were actually rafters on the ceilings, and low down enough that someone could climb on them. Like Sirius Black apparently did. The taller students had to duck when walking under them. They didn't have the nice tables the other classroom did, or the stadium style seating. It was flat, and had those stupid muggle desks where the chair is attached to a personal desk. And, when anyone put anything on it (a feather would probably work), the desk would just fall over, creating a big ruckus. And, the chairs in front of it, and sometimes behind too, would fall over. Professor Vector was surprised that muggles could live with those things. But, then, Lily Evans told him that most muggle schools have desks like that, in better quality.

That just fed Professor Vector up. They were giving him muggle desks. And not only that, but LOW QUALITY ones.

So, as he walked in, he saw the sight he usually saw.

"Students! Settle down!"

Obviously, they did not, other than Lily and Remus.

"I said SETTLE DOWN!"

The students sat down straightaway. Back in his day, Professor Vector had been a boxing champion. No one particularly wanted to cross him.

"Jeez, what happened to you?" Professor Vector asked. "You all used to be so nice and sweet in third and fourth year!"

Several students snorted. Most of them were looking at Sirius, and a few others at James.

"Puberty," Lily said simply. Professor Vector smiled.

Lily was his best student. She was perfect at Ancient Runes, and from what he had heard, every other subject too. When he had to go over things in excess, she never listened (or more like never _had _to listen; she always paid utmost attention). She was also the most respective student in the class.

And, quite honestly, she was a favorite to other teachers too.

"Students, today we are going over the magical incantations derived from Ancient Runes, and some Latin. But, please stop me early, I have a surprise for you."

The students started whispering excitedly. Professor Vector was nice, so maybe he'd give them some candy, or other treats, like he did every so often.

This carried on a bit, until Professor Vector cleared his throat, and said, "If I don't have enough time to finish the lesson, I might just have to leave out the surprise."

This immediately quieted the class.

"Alright now. So, has anyone noticed the likenesses between incantations and Ancient Runes, or Latin?"

Remus raised his hand.

"Yes, Mr. Lupin?"

"The spell _aguamenti_, sir."

"Ah, yes. It combines the Latin words for water and shot."

Mary raised her hand.

"Yes, Mary?"

"I was just wondering, sir. Why are we learning about Latin and incantations in Ancient Runes?"

"Because, they felt that students should be able to learn this sometime, so they decided to put it in the curriculum of a class. And, they thought my class was the most indispensable," Professor Vector growled.

"Oh."

Professor Vector lightened up. "Well, if we have to learn it, then we might as well have fun with it!"

The students looked apprehensive, a few raised their eyebrows.

"Who has noticed that Professor Dumbledore's first name is Albus? And that Albus is the Latin word for white, which is the color of his hair? Ironic, huh?"

A few of the students laughed.

Lily whispered into Remus' ear, "And Remus is the name of the baby that was raised by a wolf. Interesting, huh?"

Remus shot around. "How did you know?"

"It's easy, really. I've known since second year."

Seeing the look on Remus' face, she added, "I guess, that I mean it's easy for _me_. But, don't worry. I haven't told a soul."

Remus smiled. "Thanks. But you accept me?"

Lily nodded, saying, "Why wouldn't I? You talk about yourself as if you're a monster, and you really aren't!"

"You're a great friend, Lily."

Remus patted her on the arm, and she hugged him lightly. Over his shoulder, Remus saw James looking on sourly, and let go.

So, this is how the lesson went on.

"Godric Gryffindor was born in July. His horoscope symbol was a lion, and his birthstone would have been a ruby. Sound familiar?"

The students were amazed. They would have never known how much these two languages were brought up in every day life.

"Sir," began Evan. "Does this apply to the other founders?"

"I'm not sure, but, oh! Look at the time. It is time I share with you the surprise."

The students looked on eagerly.

"Alright, so this is your last year here, right? So, I feel it's time for a large, and I hope, fun project."

Sirius moaned. "I should have kept talking! Not _another_ project!"

"Actually, Mr. Black, I think this will be better than your previous projects."

"How?" Sirius said stupidly.

"Well, it's hard to explain. Would you mind waiting for me to finish?"

"Aw man… I hate waiting."

"Then it's an honor for you to be waiting, I suppose."

A few students (female, of course) giggled as Sirius sent a grin to Professor Vector, "Yes, very honored."

Remus rolled his eyes.

"Well, you are going to write-"

"I HATE WRITING!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Would you let me finish? You will write a skit, in Ancient Runes. There is a limit on ten characters. It may be serious, humorous, scary, or whatever you feel like."

"Never mind. This _might_ be fun."

"You will be doing it in pairs."

"YES!" Sirius shouted.

"Right… Well, it will be turned in by September 20th, which is in two weeks, by the way."

There was a collective groan.

"But, after that, I will be putting you into groups of ten, you will stay with your partner. The ten of you will choose between the five skits, and act that out in class. Speaking in Ancient Runes."

There was another collective groan.

"After that, I think I might let you perform the final skits in front of the whole school, in English."

The students perked up. That'd be fun!

"If we do that, I'll have the school vote on the winning group. They will earn a party with their whole house, excused by the staff. There will be multiple parties if there are multiple houses in a group."

Sirius looked around. There were no Slytherins. Ha. The Slytherins don't get a par-tay!

Lily raised her hand. "Professor Vector, can we get our partners now?"

Professor Vector grinned. Lily always wanted to get ahead.

"Alright." Deciding to make them up as he went along, he started. "Ms. McKinnon and Mr. Lupin…"

Marlene and Remus shrugged. Their partners were both reasonably good.

"… Mr. Black and Mr. Pettigrew…"

Sirius groaned. He just _had_ to be stuck with the worst student, didn't he? Even if Peter was his friend.

"…Ms. MacDonald and Mr. Woods…"

The two grinned.

"…Ms. Prewett and Mr. Longbottom…"

The two looked surprised, but smiled.

"…and finally, Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans. Those are your partners, and I'm not changing them."

Lily made a noise in protest, but Professor Vector just said, "Sorry. But, this is your last year in school. You'll have to deal with this, as you will in the real world. And that's final."

Lily sighed. She was stuck with _Potter_ of all people. And her friends all got reasonable partners! But, she realized, if she wanted a good grade, she'd have to work with him.

"Potter," she said, walking over to him. We're stuck together for the rest of the semester. I think it's fair that we make a truce, and be friends."

James looked shocked, but took her outstretched hand. "Truce, Lily. We're friends."

As she turned to walk away, James called out, "And by the way, it's James!"

"Alright… James," she replied with a smile.

Lily headed to pick up her stuff, and heard Marlene talking to Mary and Alice on the way out the door.

"Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans? More like Mr. and Mrs. Potter!"

The other two laughed, and Marlene continued, "I mean, Lily Potter. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

Lily found a crumpled up piece of paper and aimed it hard at Marlene's head.

"Ow…"

Once all the students were outside, Professor Vector turned to pick up his papers from the lesson.

All of a sudden, two feminine voices could be heard outside of his classroom.

"Candy! Did Skeeter tell you?"

"Yeah, Camilla. She told everyone in the Society of the Girls Who Say That James Potter is Sooooooooo Frickin' Hot, it Makes Us Want to Lick His Feet…"

"Who the bloody hell came up with that name?"

"Me."

"That explains everything."

"So, you like it, don't you?"

"Uh… sure?"

"Thanks! I know! It's like awesome!"

"Right, well, are you sure no one can hear us?"

"Positive. No one ever comes near the Ancient Runes room."

"Well, I need your help."

"With what?"

"I want you to help me get together with James."

"And what makes you think I'll freely do that?"

"Fine. What's your price, Candy?"

"A tuft of his hair, and make it large! And a few toenails of his."

"Okay… But, you're only going to get that if we get together."

"Aw man! But, I guess it's okay."

"Yes! It'll be me and James forever!"

Professor Vector heard what sounded like someone skipping away.

"Yay me! I get a wad of James' hair! Sweet!"

As he heard the sound of footsteps fading off, Professor Vector sighed.

Students these days. They turned a regular day into a soap opera.

AN: I hope you like it! And my Italian class (which the Ancient Runes class is based off) is shoved into a stinking portable, where there are sooooooo many bugs! And it has the horrible low quality desks too! Stupid administration.


	11. Quaffles

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: Enjoy!

**Quaffles**

_Slap._

Sirius caught the quaffle ball with ease. He looked out on the lake, where he and James were standing. Remus and Peter were under their favorite birch tree.

"Seriously! Moony! Why are you reading?" Sirius called.

_Slap._

James caught the quaffle.

"Because," Remus replied "Unlike you, I find that reading is interesting."

"But it's so hard!" whined Sirius.

_Slap._

"Again, unlike you, I have a reading level above that of a kindergartener."

_Slap._

Sirius shrugged. "Eh, my mother's a horrible teacher."

James looked at Sirius oddly. "Then why didn't she send you to a muggle school? I was sent to a prestigious private muggle middle school."

_Slap._

"Hellooo? Muggle hating pureblood parents here!"

"Right…"

_Slap._

"Ooh! That was a great catch Prongs!" Peter cried out adoringly.

"Hey!" Sirius said indignantly. "What about me and my fantastic catches?"

_Slap._

"Great catch Padfoot!" Peter exclaimed happily.

"Why, thank you."

_Splash!_

"Bloody brilliant throw there, Sirius!"

James and Remus looked at Peter oddly.

"Are you even being sarcastic, Peter?" James asked worriedly.

Peter looked confused. "No. Why?"

"He threw it into the lake," Remus explained.

"Why did you say it was good?"

"But, but, but, everything Padfoot does is good!"

"Thank you! Finally! Someone understands!"

"Be quiet, Padfoot. You're giving me a migraine."

"Sorry Moony. Now, Prongs GET THE QUAFFLE!"

Remus groaned.

Reluctantly, James fetched the quaffle out of the lake, and dried it with his wand.

_Slap._

"So," Sirius started. "What do you think about it?"

"About what?"

_Slap._

"Don't you remember Dumbledore's announcement?"

"No."

"Must have been staring at Lily again," muttered Remus.

_Slap._

"Yeah. I think he's obsessed."

"Am not!"

_Slap._

"Denial," Remus, Sirius, and much to everyone's shock, Peter said together.

"Huh?"

_Slap._

"Phase one of love is denial. I thought everyone knew that."

"Apparently not me."

_Slap._

"Right, well, do you need us to go over Dumbledore's announcement for you?"

"That would be greatly appreciated."

_Slap._

"Well, we were sitting in the great hall, eating."

"What else would we be doing?" James asked.

"Oh, I don't know, staring at a particular someone's' bum?"

James blushed.

_Slap._

"And, Dumbledore stood up and asked for everyone's attention."

"And Sirius moaned something along the lines of 'But I don't want to' really loudly."

_Slap._

'Thanks for mentioning that, Moony. Really."

"And thanks for being sarcastic."

"As you are being right now."

_Slap._

"Guys, just shut up. And get on with the story, Padfoot."

"I'm offended!"

_Slap._

"How, exactly?"

"It's not a story! It's a work of art!"

"Right…"

_Slap._

"Well, he said that the Head Boy and Girl were going to plan a Yule Ball, as an experiment."

"An experiment?"

_Slap._

"Yeah. If this goes well, it might happen again."

"Doubt it'll go well."

"Yeah, cause you're the one planning it!"

"Right."

_Slap._

"So, what do you think?"

"I don't really know. I don't particularly want to plan it.

"What, and miss out on quality time with Evans? Prongs! How could you?"

_Slap._

"My life doesn't revolve around Lily, you know."

"Psh. I beg to differ."

_Slap._

"Padfoot!"

"What, Moony?"

_Slap._

"I didn't know you knew a word so large?"

"Oh, yeah. It took me a while, but after ten months of extensive study in third year, I learned the word 'I'. Isn't that great?"

"I was referring to the word 'differ'."

_Slap. _

"Oh. I heard that phrase once."

"Ah."

_Slap._

"I still don't know what it means."

_Slap._

"Moony, why are you rolling your eyes and shaking your head at me?"

"Go away, Padfoot."

_Slap._

"So, Prongs, you asking Evans?"

"No."

_Slap._

"Why not?"

"Then I'd get on her nerves, and I don't want that."

_Slap._

"Good for you, Prongs."

"Thanks, Moony."

_Slap._

"I still don't understand why you aren't asking her!"

"Stop whining, Padfoot."

"Stop being bossy, Prongs. I am my own boss!"

"Suuuuure. It isn't those oysters who 'talk' to you."

_Slap._

"How did you know about those?!"

"You talk in your sleep."

_Slap._

"You listen to me sleep? Ewwww! Perverted stalker!"

_Slap. _

"No, Padfoot. You speak pretty loudly I your sleep. It wakes us all up."

_Slap._

"Well, anyways, what are you going to do for a date?"

"Probably going to take the first girl who asks me."

_Slap._

Just then, Lily walked out of the front hall towards them. Sirius crouched behind James, ball in hand.

"She's after me lucky oysters!"

"Right…"

Lily walked up to James, and tapped him on the shoulder. Sirius jumped up and screamed, "I SWEAR, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

Lily looked at him oddly. "I just wanted to speak to James."

Sirius casually said, "Oh" and threw the quaffle back to James.

_Slap._

"So, James. We have a lot to do. We need to write the skit for Ancient Runes, and plan the ball."

"Oh, yeah. I already wrote the skit. We just need to translate it."

_Slap._

"Oh! I'll do the translations."

"Are you sure? I'd feel guilty not doing any of the translations."

_Slap._

"That's odd. I feel guilty not doing the story at all. I'm dreadfully uncreative."

"It's alright. It's not that hard."

_Slap._

"And the translations aren't that hard for me. So, where's the skit?"

"In my bag."

_Slap._

Lily hurried over to his bag, and pulled out the written skit.

"Thanks."

She turned to leave, but remembered something.

_Slap._

"James! When should we plan the ball? Sunday sound good?"

"Yeah, that sounds okay."

Sirius aimed the quaffle, with all his might, towards James, in the hopes it knock him down.

"Great-"

_Clunk!_

Lily fell backwards, a blank expression on her face.

James leapt down, kneeling next to her. He waved his hand frantically over her face, hoping to revive her.

"Padfoot! You knocked her out!"

Remus shook his head. "You have horrible aim, Sirius."

"This is why you didn't get to be a Chaser, but a Beater!" Peter said, attempting to make a joke.

"This isn't time to joke around, Wormy," James said.

"You know, I always have wondered what was up with those nicknames," Lily groaned, sitting up.

James smiled. "You're up! That was quick! Once Sirius hit me… _somewhere_ with the quaffle, and that area ached for weeks. I couldn't sit on a broom properly."

Lily snorted. "Next time, I'm ducking when Sirius aims for the person next to me."

The marauders (not including Sirius) sniggered.

"Oh, and Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

_Slap._

Lily stalked off angrily, calling over her shoulder, "Remember James, Sunday!"

Sirius howled in pain.

"Ma nose! Ma bootiful nose! I tink it's boken!"

"Ah… God's gift to women broken, isn't it?" Remus taunted.

Sirius glared at him.

James was roaring with laughter at this point.

Suddenly, something dawned on Sirius.

"Jabs! Jabs!"

"Yes, Sirius?"

"Wiwy cawled you Jabs!"

"And exactly how long did it take you to figure that one out?"

Sirius scowled.

AN: Sorry if I haven't been updating as much. Lately I've been swamped with homework. I _just_ finished Animal Farm, which we were reading for English. Review! Or the oysters will talk to you too!


	12. It's a Date

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: Enjoy!

**It's a Date!**

James was headed to Ancient Runes.

Is was quite annoying, actually, that Ancient Runes was all the way on the top floor, in the most remote corner, _and_ the staircases on the way there were the ones that were least willing to budge. The portraits, statues, and suits of armor were just obscene, too. There was at least one really horny suit of armor on the way to class, and, Sir Cadogan came up here often, because, his stash of liquor was up here. And, Sir Cadogan drunk was one thing you did not want to see.

Fortunately, though, he had Ancient Runes first period, leaving him with more time to get to class. It was especially hard, because there was a rickety old rope bridge on the way there. Don't ask how that got there. James had once made the mistake of going to Ancient Runes with Sirius, and he had never done that again. Sirius had brought along his precious oysters, and dropped Bobita off the bridge accidentally. They were very late to class because Sirius demanded to stop and fetch her. And, he completely forgot that he could use the summoning charm. THEN, he had to cuddle Bobita, as he said, 'cooling her nerves'. What the bloody hell?

Suddenly, there was a crash, and a high-pitched scream. James rushed to the source of the noise, hoping it wasn't Lily.

When he turned a bend in the corridor, he saw Henry the Horny (as the students liked to call him; he was the most perverted suit of armor at Hogwarts) on top of a blond girl. He hurried over, and pulled Henry off her. He held out a hand to help her up.

"Thanks," she beamed at him.

"No problem."

"Is there anything I could do in return?"

"You could tell me your name."

"Oh! I'm Camilla. Camilla Brown."

James smirked. "Nice to meet you, Camilla Camilla."

Camilla giggled.

As James turned to leave, she called out, "Wait!"

He stopped, and asked, "Yes?"

"I just want to know. You seem really nice and all, so, will you go out with me?"

James pondered this. He wasn't going to ask out Lily, staying true to his promise. But, was Lily going to ask him out? The reasonable answer was no. Still, James couldn't help wishing she would ask him out. Though, if he went with someone else, would she be jealous?

James finally made up his mind, and answered, "Yes, it would be my pleasure. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get to Ancient Runes."

Camilla nodded, and turned to leave. He heard her giggling a bit back.

But who wouldn't giggle if they were going with James Potter to a dance?

James groaned; he really needed to stop these arrogant thoughts if he wanted Lily.

As he continued on his way to class, he thought he saw a girl with dark black hair slinking out from behind the crevice where Henry the Horny usually stood.

James quickly turned his head. No one was there. He must have been imagining things.

James refocused his attention to getting safely across the rickety old bridge.

"Ow…"

James now had a crick in his neck from turning his head so fast. While reaching up to rub his neck, his foot slipped, and got caught in the bridge. In the middle of the bridge. The weakest link.

James sighed, and started to work his foot out from in between the wooden planks. His hand soon got caught in the roping.

"Shit-takke mushrooms!" he muttered. He had always been brought up to behave like a gentleman, no matter how much it surprised Lily.

From the commotion he was making, the boards his foot was caught between started shifting, crushing James' ankle.

"Ouch! Bloody hell this hurts!"

James was about to give up on being a gentleman, and letting a long string of violent curse words out. Unfortunately for James, though, there was a first year behind him, looking very scared. James never cursed in front of first years. Then, James thought of something.

"Oi! You!" he called to the boy.

The boy was startled, and looked up scared at James. "Me?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, you. Can you help me out?"

The boy nodded, and exclaimed, "Of course I do! I was in boy scouts!"

James looked puzzled, and the boy saw, so he said, "Muggle thing."

"Ah… So, you're a muggleborn, or a halfblood?"

As the boy started working on the roes he said, "Neither, actually. I'm a pureblood."

James looked at the boy's red hair. "You're a Weasley, aren't you?"

"Yep. Bilius Charles Weasley."

"Then how come you had to do the muggle thing?"

"Oh, my older brothers a muggle fanatic."

"You're Arthur's little brother?"

"You knew him?"

"Well, he graduated the year before I came here. But, my dad has my humor, and he loves Arthur. We actually had him and Molly over for dinner a couple times."

"Cool."

"Don't they have a son now?"

"Yeah. I'm an uncle! It's cool."

"I wish I could be an uncle, but, I don't have any siblings. My parents are way to old for that."

"I saw your latest prank on Snape. It was awesome!"

"Thanks, but it was really Sirius who did it."

"I want to be just like you when I grow up."

"Really?"

"Yeah, of course! And you're free."

"Thanks! I got to rush now!"

James ran all the way to Ancient Runes, beating the bell by two seconds.

Professor Vector looked at him, and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, sorry, Professor. My foot got caught in the bridge."

Professor Vector laughed. "It happens to us all, Potter."

James grinned, and took his seat.

Professor Vector stood, and addressed the class. "Please hand in your skits, class."

The students reached into their bag, pulling out the skits. James cursed under his breath. He forgot the skit.

Lily saw this, and called out, "James! Don't worry! I have the skit!"

James let out his breath, and praised whatever supernatural beings existed for creating Lily. And letting her be a witch. And making her so pretty.

James really had to stop thinking about Lily. NO LILY! He was shouting to himself. Inside his head, of course.

As soon as he had collected the skits, Professor Vector said, "I'm feeling lazy today, and it's not very likely people care if I don't teach today, so you can talk to each other while I grade these."

The class cheered.

Professor Vector would have quieted them, if it weren't for the fact that there probably wasn't anyone within the range of a mile.

Professor Vector turned to his papers.

Mary pounced over to the seat next to Marlene, who sat in front of James.

"Marlene! You won't believe who just asked me to the ball!"

"Wood?" Marlene asked, dryly.

Mary looked at her strangely. "How did you know?"

"I don't know," Marlene started in a tone practically dripping with sarcasm. "Maybe it was because you are always obsessing over him, and he's the only one you would go with to the ball?"

"Oh," Mary replied sheepishly. She was bushing a shade of red that could rival Lily's hair. She bounced off again, no doubt to go tell Lily.

Marlene turned around to face James. "She's completely obsessive over him, you know that?"

James laughed. "It's kind of hard not to notice."

Marlene smiled. But it fell off her face soon. "It kind of stinks, doesn't it?"

"What?"

"That I don't have a date, and everyone else does."

"Really?"

"Yeah! Mary and Wood are going together, there's no doubt that Frank and Alice are, and…"

"Well, what about Lily?"

"She can join me in rejection club."

"Remus?"

"Him too."

"Sirius? Peter?"

Just then, a loud voice cut across the classroom. It was Sirius'.

"I'm going to go with Bobita, Peter. But, you can go with Bob."

"Okay!" Peter responded, also quite loudly.

Marlene looked at James. "Well, I guess that settles that. But, who are Bob and Bobita?"

"Oh, they're Sirius' pet oysters."

Marlene cracked up, and as soon as James realized what he had said, he started cracking up too.

When they settle down, Marlene asked, "What about you, James? DO you want to kjoin me in rejection? Lily's obviously going to turn you down."

"Nah… But thanks for the offer. Besides, I already have a date."

"Really? Lily didn't turn you down? And you asked her? Shame, you were holding a record for how long you can go without asking Lily out."

"I didn't ask Lily."

"She did then? The apocalypse has come early!"

"I mean, I'm going with someone other than Lily!"

Marlene raised an eyebrow at him. "I thought you only had eyes for Lily."

"Some other girl asked me."

"So you're dating someone other than Lily? Hm…" Marlene's eyes scanned the room, in search for his date.

"Actually, she doesn't have Ancient Runes."

"Oh. Who is it?"

"Camilla Brown."

Marlene's face darkened.

"Marlene, are you alright?" James asked worriedly, waving a hand in front of her face.

Marlene perked right back up. "James, I love talking to you, I really do."

James snorted.

"No! I'm serious. For some messed up reason, I can actually talk to you, and it's not that bad!"

James rolled his eyes, and sarcastically replied, "Oh, thanks. That meant so much to me."

But, really, he had liked talking to her too. She was just easy to talk to.

"C'mon," Marlene motioned. "Let's go talk to Lily and Remus. They're probably dying to get some good company."

James looked over to Lily and Remus, who were being ambushed by Sirius, who was showing off Bobita, and the dress he had made her for the ball.

James shuddered. Sirius was the only one who made dresses for an oyster. And James was pretty sure that Bobita was really a _male_ oyster.

Poor Bobita.

The tow walked over, and Marlene shooed away Sirius, who stalked off, sticking out his tongue at Marlene.

"Oh, very mature, Sirius!" she called back at him.

Turning back to Remus and Lily, Marlene asked, "I don't have a date to the ball, and neither do you two, apparently, so, do you want to go with me as friends? A sort of rejection club?"

Lily and Remus laughed.

"I'd love to," Remus replied.

"I'm in," said Lily. She looked up at James. "Are you in?"

James shook his head. "Already have a date."

Lily looked surprised, and _hurt_?

"Who?"

"Camilla Brown."

Lily looked angry at this, and just as she opened her mouth to speak, the bell rang.

Alice came over. "Frank asked me! Isn't that great?"

"Very," Lily replied, grinding her teeth.

James was puzzled. Why did they both seem to dislike Camilla?

He shrugged and headed for Transfiguration as quickly as possible. He didn't want to be caught by Sirius when Sirius was still on an oyster high. James had never known those existed. Until he met Sirius.

Oh no. Sirius was heading his way with a series of frilly oyster dresses.

AARGGHHHHHHH!!

AN: Just to help you sleep peacefully, oyster highs do not exist. Unless you don't review. Then everyone you know will get one. MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!! I'M EVIL, EVIL I SAY!! Right, so, just review already. I'm not sure why you're even reading this now that I'm sure I've gone insane. Anyway, why do you think the girls should hate Camilla?


	13. Mamma Mia!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Mamma Mia!**

Lily sank into her desk for Ancient Runes. She was dead tired after patrolling last night, and waking up early for classes didn't help. It was a blessing that Professor Vector decided only to introduce them to their groups today, and nothing more.

She had been patrolling with James last night (they were heads, after all). They were supposed to check the whole school, the main corridors mostly, no matter how long it took them.

So, they had been walking, and heard a commotion. As they turned the corner, they found Sirius, and his younger brother Regulus, getting into an argument. Lily and James had to hold them apart for the better half of a night. Lily was the one holding Regulus back, seeing as James could better control Sirius, and he had constantly spit out vulgar words (like mudblood) at her. It was degrading.

If she had paid more attention then, she would have seen James wince, and practically die in his eyes each time she was mocked.

But, of course, she was too busy feeling hurt herself to notice. She wasn't exactly one to be looking in James' eyes, anyway.

She sunk into her desk, burying her head in her arms, hoping to get some sleep in before class.

A few minutes in to her nap, she awoke to someone shaking her. She raised her head, and her wand, with full intention to hex that person to smithereens.

It was Sirius.

Ooh! Yay! Even more reason to hex him!

"What do you want, Black?" Lily growled.

Sirius looked a bit apprehensive at first, but then remembered what he was here for, and perked up considerably.

"You know the ball, Evans?"

Lily glared at him. Of course she knew the ball. And how dare he be so peppy, awake, and sugar high in front of her?

"Well… You know who I'm going with?"

Lily stared at him blankly. "I'm not your stalker, unlike most of this school's female population."

"Well, I'm going with Bobita."

"Who's she?"

"Bob's sister, of course!"

"Who's he?"

"You _don't_ know who Bob and Bobita are? I'm ashamed!"

"Again, not your stalker!"

"Well, to make a long story short, meet Bob, and Bobita."

Sirius reached into his bag, and pulled out two oysters. Lily stared at them.

"Since this isn't about Bob, I'll put him back. Bye, Bob."

Sirius put the slightly bigger oyster back in the bag.

"And what does this have to do with me?"

"I noticed you're a girl and…"

"Oh, brilliant observation."

"And I need your help on picking out Bobita's dress."

"She's an oyster, black."

"So? Think of the commotion that would occur if my date showed up naked!"

"Yeah… she'd be eaten."

"No! Not Bobita!"

Lily snorted. "Alright, now where are you getting these dresses?"

Sirius pulled out five dresses from his bag. There was a black halter dress, a white strapless, a turquoise spaghetti strap, a purple long sleeve dress, and a sparkly pink off the shoulder dress. They were all extremely thin and tiny, and Lily wondered how Sirius was going to get any of them on an oyster.

Lily just stared.

So, Sirius added, "I also have accessories; a pink flower, some pearls, a purse, some heels…"

"Shut up Sirius."

"Well, what do you think?"

"How exactly did you get these?"

"I stole them from Peter's Barbie collection. I used my awesome sewing skills to tailor them to fit Bobita."

Lily didn't know what was scarier, the fact that Peter had a Barbie collection, or the image of Sirius with a sewing needle.

Sirius started hopping around the place, whining, "Lily…. Please!"

Definitely Sirius with the needle. Just think of what he could do with that thing. Lily shuddered.

"Um…" Lily pondered whether she should say anything. Soon deciding she wanted Sirius off her back she said, 'I think the white-"

Marlene walked over to the pair, and interrupted Lily. "No. Definitely the pink of the shoulder. You can then add the pink flower in her, um, _hair_, and the pearls."

Sirius nodded, and started shoving things back into his back.

Lily began to wonder. "Sirius," she started. "Why don't your oysters get crushed in your bag?"

"Oh, that's simple."

Showing her the inside of his bag, Lily gasped. It was oyster paradise!

Sirius had charmed it to include a waterfall (how that worked out, Lily would never know). There were miniature beanbags, and other pieces of furniture in the bag, and a cushy pillow surrounded it all. There was a tiny wardrobe spilling with dresses, shirts, pants, skirts, shoes, and _tuxedos_?

Sirius was one mad hatter.

"Sirius, where are all of your books?"

Sirius looked puzzled, and asked, "Books? What books?"

As he pranced away, Lily and Marlene rolled their eyes.

Lily turned to Marlene. "Thanks for saving me. I didn't know you were watching."

Marlene grinned. "Well, James and I were looking on, and having a good laugh mind you"

"Thanks, really," Lily cut in, dryly.

"Sorry. But when Sirius started bouncing around, James told me to go help you out. He said he knew what it was going to end up like."

"Why didn't he come?"

"Oh, he said that Sirius wouldn't leave until he got an answer, and he didn't know anything about clothes."

Lily laughed with Marlene. But, as Marlene walked back to her seat, Lily couldn't help but think there was something more to it.

Remus slid into the seat next to her just as the bell rung.

Professor Vector looked at them all. "Today, I will put you all in your larger groups."

There were some groans. The students seemed partially anxious, partially excited.

"Alright, then. Our first group will be Ms. Jones…"

The students slowly were called to their groups. Most girls groaned realizing they weren't in a group with James or Sirius.

"And Ms. Meadows. Since there are only ten of you left, I think you ten will work together."

Lily looked around. She was with Marlene, Mary, and Alice (score!), but she was also stuck with the marauders, Frank, and Evan.

"These are your five skits," Professor Vector said, handing them the graded skits.

Lily found her and James' skit.

"James! We got an O!"

She high fived him, as the others looked through their skits.

"Alright," said Mary, taking charge. "Let's read them through together, and decide if we want to do that one or not."

They first read Frank and Alice's skit. It was serious, and very dramatic, about a pair of lovers. The ten decided it wasn't the one for them.

Next was Remus and Marlene's. It was about a person in a contest figuring out about sabotage, and going nuts about it, only to find it wasn't real. They decide to pass that one up, also.

The next one to be read was Mary and Evan's. It included a group of kids going to great lengths to cheat on a major test. That one was decided against.

Lily and James' skit was a humorous one on a plane, and the group wasn't sure whether to choose that one or not.

But then, they read Sirius and Peter's skit. It was downright hilarious! They had no second thoughts, and immediately chose it.

Professor Vector came round, asking which one they chose, and Sirius informed him of their decision.

"Ah…" said Professor Vector. "An interesting choice. But, there are only nine characters. Therefore, I think I will make the writer, Mr. Black, the director. But, you will need to add a prologue for the class version, so I can grade you."

Sirius nodded eagerly. Lily groaned. She couldn't bear Sirius as her director.

"Alright," Sirius said. "I'm going to cast you."

The others looked on in horror. Lily was wondering if Sirius was going to make her a guy, or something.

"James, you're the chef."

James nodded.

"Marlene, you get to be the waitress."

"Woohoo! I get a lot of lines!"

Marlene began a glee dance.

"Right… Remus, you're the random person."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "I feel _so_ proud," he drawled sarcastically.

"Mary and Alice are the supermodels."

Mary and Alice high fived. "Oh yeah! We got a female role!"

"Frank, Evan, and Peter. You three are the members of the maufia."

Lily snorted at this. They'd _sure_ be convincing.

"Lily, you're the mother."

Lily sighed, and turned to talk to Marlene.

"He's insane," Marlene muttered.

"I know. He'll probably make us do a tap dancing number in the middle of the skit."

"Or worse-"

But Lily didn't get to hear the worse part. The bell rung, and people rushed out of class, so they wouldn't be late. There had been a back up yesterday, when Dorcas Meadows got her foot stuck in the bridge. They had all been late.

"Don't forget! Memorize your lines by Friday!" Sirius called after them.

"Hm…. I like that tap-dancing routine idea," Sirius muttered to himself.

AN: I know I didn't tell you what happens in the skit. It's a cliffie! Sort of. Don't worry, I have the skit planned out. But, you won't completely know what happens until the chapter they perform it. Too bad for you all! And, the fewer reviews I get, the slower I update. Just review. I don't care. For all I care, you could write me a fully detailed description of what you want Lily to wear to the ball (and I might use it!). Review!

PS. I haven't used the oysters (or Sirius) to threaten you into reviewing! Sniff-sniff. I must be losing my touch.


	14. Matchmaking?

Disclaimer: Does it look like I own nothing? Suuuure…. J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers _definitely_ write fan fiction. No! I don't own anything!

**Matchmaking?**

Sirius was ready for his first practice as director. He was very lucky he didn't have Crabbe or Goyle in his group. They were pure idiots, and Sirius had a feeling they didn't know their left from their right.

Still, Sirius had to whip this bunch into shape. Which was why he was wearing boots, a vest, a beret, and those weird director pants with the stuffed hips. Or were they not stuffed? Whatever, Sirius had them stuffed. He also had a clipboard, and a megaphone.

"Padfoot…" James said apprehensively, eying the megaphone. "Why do you need the megaphone? We're only in the common room."

"I need it for the look!"

"The look?"

"Yeah, the directors look!"

"Okay…" James made a motion to take away the megaphone.

"NO! MY MEGAPHONE!"

"Special…" James muttered, as they turned to the others.

The others were already near the fire, and chatting happily. Mary and Alice were cheering on Evan and Frank in their game of Exploding Snap. Remus and Lily were reading books, Marlene was painting Peter's nails (who was asleep at the moment), with a smirk on her face.

Sirius stared. They were supposed to be a cast! Not a bunch of lazy layabouts!

"No!" he yelled, suddenly, causing everyone to look at him (except for Peter, who was asleep, and Marlene who had moved on to his lipstick). "What are you doing? You're supposed to be getting ready for practice! Going over lines! Not reading _Hamlet_!"

Sirius had grabbed Lily's book, and looking at it in disgust.

"Give me back my book! Now!" Lily cried at him.

"NO!"

Sirius was getting dangerously close to the fire.

"Black! Hand it over!"

"Never!"

James sighed. "Sirius. Hand over the book. It's not nice to steal and destroy personal property."

Sirius ignored him, and reached to open the gates to the fire. James shook his head in annoyance. He pulled back a grumbling Sirius, and wrenched the book from his grasp, handing it over to Lily.

"Thanks, James," Lily said, smiling shyly at him.

James felt his face turning a bit red, and turned away.

"Aren't you supposed to be practicing?" asked a voice from behind everyone.

Sirius jumped around, startled, to see Celestina smirking on the staircase.

"Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" retorted Sirius.

"Before dinner? I think not."

"Oops."

Mary smiled at Celestina, and replied, "I think we'll start practicing. _Now_."

Everyone got up, groaning things about actually having to do work. Sirius positioned everyone in a starting position, and was about to speak, when Celestina interrupted again.

"What about Peter?"

"Right…. OI! PETER! WAKEY-WAKEY!"

Celestina rolled her eyes, as Peter sat up groggily. Every one stifled their laughter. He was totally covered in make-up, thanks to Marlene.

"Wha'd I miss?"

"Nothing," Sirius responded. "Alright, now, James, you have the first line. I want you to speak it with emotion! Passion!"

"Yeah. I want to see you do that," snorted Marlene.

"How do I say 'where are the customers' with _passion_?" James sniggered.

"I AM DIRECTOR! RESPECT ME! MUA-HA!"

"Okay…"

The rest of the run-through happened in the same fashion, and Sirius yelled the same thing many times.

"You're all insane!" Remus yelled.

"Alright. Good run through, people," Sirius said, clearly bored.

Celestina scurried over to him, and stood on her tip-toes to whisper something in his ear, as he bent over. When she finished, Sirius grinned madly.

"Thanks, Celestina. Now, everyone in the flirting part, come with me. I want to practice that part again. James, Lily, you stay there, you're offstage during that. Remus, you come too. You're onstage during that."

James and Lily stayed standing where they had been, as everyone else made their way over to another clear patch in the room.

"What are we supposed to do, Sirius?" James called.

"I don't know! Study your lines!"

Lily looked over at James. "That sounds good," she shrugged.

The two flopped down onto the couch behind them, turning in, to each other.

As they watched James and Lily talking to each other, Sirius motioned for everyone he was with to sit down. Celestina joined them on the ground.

"Why-"

"Shhhh!" Sirius shushed Alice.

Alice spoke again, in a low whisper, "Why aren't we practicing?"

"I have a proposition for you all," Sirius replied.

'What?"

"Who here thinks Lily and James are meant for each other?

Surprisingly (or maybe not) everyone raised his or her hand.

"And who thinks they can't realize this?"

Again, every hand was raised.

"Now, I feel that we should get them together. What about you?"

There was a general murmur of agreement. Celestina spoke up, "I know I've only been here for a month, but I've seen enough to know they are meant for each other. Completely."

Mary and Marlene high fived Celestina, and Sirius patted her on the back. "You are a rare example of a cool first year. Most are rude, nose picking swots."

Everyone laughed at this.

"But, how are we going to get them together?" Alice pondered.

"I know!" exclaimed Sirius. "Oysters!"

"I don't want to know how that works out," muttered Remus.

"Oh, it's simple, really. You just-"

"DON'T WANT TO KNOW!"

"Aw man…"

Sirius kept pouting, as they thought on how to get the two together.

"Celestina," Alice started. "You like singing, right?"

"Yeah, how does that relate to anything, though?"

"Well, I don't know when, but when they're really close, sing them a nice ballad, or something. It could help. I'm not sure."

Celestina looked thoughtful. "That could work, you know."

"Yeah! You shove them into a closet!" Sirius exclaimed happily.

"No," replied Marlene, who was speaking as though patiently explaining the sky was blue to a stubborn toddler. "They would kill us for that. At least, Lily would."

"Man!"

"Well, we might do it later."

Everyone looked at Celestina, shocked.

"When they grow closer," Celestina shrugged.

"Can we go back, now?' whined Sirius.

"After we give them enough time," Marlene explained, again.

They sat there quietly for a while, until Remus asked, "Marlene, why do you and Lily seem to hate Camilla?"

"Where did that come up from?"

"I was just thinking back to the day…"

"Do you really want to know?" Marlene asked, nervously.

Remus nodded, with the other six people sitting there.

Marlene sighed. "Well, Alice, Mary, you know how Lily and I didn't really become friends with you until the end of second year?"

The two girls nodded.

"Well, before you, we were friends with Camilla Brown."

The girls gasped.

"She's a man-stealer!" Alice spluttered.

"She's an ice bitch!" Mary said, distastefully.

"I know; she's a right arse. But, she was nice back then. We were completely mean back then. But then, both Lily and Camilla got a crush on-"

"Me?" Sirius offered.

"James, actually."

Every single person their let their jaw drop.

"James started showing his feelings for Lily, though. And Camilla got really jealous. She started mocking Lily. After James completed that stunt with the giant squid at the beginning of second, Camilla slapped Lily, and never spoke to her again. That's really why Lily started hating James. She was angry he had ruined their friendship. So, she convinced herself he was an arrogant toerag."

Everyone was thoroughly shocked.

Frank was the first to recover. "Do you think she still likes him?"

"Deep down inside? Yes."

Everyone fell back into shock. This was huge news. Lily had _never_ shown she even knew James existed (other than the times she cruelly turned him down) before seventh year. But, she had to this year.

"Can we shove them into a closet yet?" Sirius soon whined.

Marlene shook her head, obviously exasperated.

Celestina, on the other hand, peeked up over the couch. "Hm. We're getting close, actually."

Everyone scurried to peek over the couch, and eavesdrop on the two.

"I can't get this!"

"James. It's so simple! Everything you say is basically the same basis! You could improvise it!"

"Ugh… Lily, I'm horrible at this! If I ever do another play, you have my full permission to _avada kedavra_ me!"

Lily could be heard giggling.

"It's not funny!"

"James, it is. You can't get one short sentence down in ten minutes!"

"Meh."

It could easily be seen the two were very close. They realized this, and scooted apart, both with pink cheeks.

"Do you really want us to play this game?" Lily laughed.

"I could do better, if Padfoot was a good director!"

"Well, Sirius is pretty mental."

"I HEARD THAT!"

AN: Hope you liked it. When I looked at the reviews, everyone (and I mean everyone) wrote the same thing (because she was a ). It was so unanimous! But, finally, someone said they used to be friends, and I decided to compromise. Review!


	15. Evil, You Say?

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Evil, You Say?**

Camilla was in the Potions classroom, with Candy at her side, and another billion girls, whose names she didn't know. And she never planned on knowing their names.

She was of course; with the James Potter is Soooooo…. Well, you get the point. Let's just call it the James Potter Fan Club.

She had been elected president of the club, and that was all that mattered to her. She really didn't need to know her voters names. Especially if that was the whole school's feminine population (including Professor Sinistra, but hey! She was only in her twenties at the time). And Davy Gudgeon.

Candy was her vice president, and somehow, in some odd way, persuasive. Don't ask.

Now, as why they were in the Potions classroom. They needed a room that could fit the whole female population + Davy into. And that was a classroom. Anyway, they could brew Amortentia here. But, they weren't allowed to (at least for James) now that Camilla was his date).

Which is why there was currently a tremendous uproar among the girls (and Davy).

"Why can't we chase after him? It's our right in this club!" Mafalda Hopkirk screamed.

"Yeah!" Griselda Marchbanks agreed.

Camilla silenced them with her wand. "He's my boyfriend, so back away."

"Then what's the point of this club?" Amelia Bones retorted.

"I WANT MY MONEY BACK!" screamed Davy.

"Umm… we didn't pay for this club, Davy," Dorcas Meadows said.

Camilla snorted. "You can admire, and worship, but no touching. Carry it far enough, and no looking at."

A large girl in the back growled. "You cannot do zhez! I would 'ave gone to Beauxbatons, but I cannot! James Potter makes it wort-wile! 'E ez 'ott!"

"What's your name, again?" Candy asked, obviously blanking out again.

"Olympe. Olympe Maxime."

"Oh. Well, he's still hot, so Hogwarts is still worthwhile."

Olympe made a noise like 'hmph', and looked distasteful.

But, Davy turned around, and whispered quite loudly, "Shhhh! I want to hear! Maybe she'll hand out the t-shirts! I want James' baby picture on mine! Or maybe the picture of him in a dress. Hmmm…"

Camilla rolled her eyes. "If you're done now…"

"Sorry!" Davy exclaimed, and scurried to sit cross-legged right in front of her, paying very close attention.

Camilla felt pretty uncomfortable with Davy in the class. He was kind of creepy. But, as McGonagall said, she had invited anyone, and she couldn't run anyone down. Camilla had always wondered if McGonagall had wanted to join…

But that's a different story.

The girls were back to complaining.

"But, but, but I WANT JAMESIE!" a short first year bawled out, and started heaving. Soon there was a puddle covering the floor around her.

"Ewwww! My shoes and socks are soaked now!" some girl, who was around the first year, squealed in displeasure.

"Deal with it!" Camilla called over. She had planned on walking over to the girl, and scare her out of crying (she had been really annoyed with the constant bawling), but she had slipped and fell when she reached the puddle. She was now completely drenched, and forgot the spell for drying. Now her make-up was ruined!

Mafalda saw, and with a scheme in her head walked over. "Here, I know the drying spell." With a wave of her wand, Mafalda's shoes were dry.

"Please!" begged Camilla. "Dry me! I'll do anything!"

"Got a Galleon?"

"Yes!"

"Alright." Camilla was dry. "Hand over my Galleon."

"No," Camilla smirked.

Mafalda turned red with anger. "And why not?"

"Because, I said I had one, not that I'd actually give you one! What a laugh!" Camilla sniggered at Mafalda, along with Candy, and a few other girls.

Mafalda walked up to Camilla, and slapped her hard across the face.

"OUT!" Camilla cried in pain.

"I was going to leave anyway. I hate Potter. Amelia only wanted me here. Hmph."

Mafalda stalked out, and if Camilla were smarter, she'd realize that the mischievous grin probably meant something. But, she wasn't smart.

Camilla turned to the girls, and asked, "Any more problems with me?"

The girls shook their heads no, hurriedly, in fear.

"Good. Now take it over, Candy."

Candy turned to them, a glint in her eyes. "You all should be happy that Camilla is dating James!"

A few of the smarter girls raised their eyebrows.

"Look, first of all, you're close to James by association. Camilla, your loved and close-"

Many snorted at this, until Camilla gave them the evil glare.

"Do you want to be sent to the dungeons or beheaded?"

"You can't do that!" Dorcas Meadows cried.

"Watch me."

There was a simultaneous gulp from everyone, including Candy.

"Get on with it Candy."

"Right. Well, your wonderful president would be dating James! Think of the glory of association!"

Everyone smiled happily.

"Yay!" Davy cried euphorically.

"Are you on crack?" the little first year next to him asked.

"No! Llamas!"

Many odd looks were targeted at him.

"What? It's true! Llamas are unsuspecting, but at the right moment, they will strike! AHHHHH!! LLAMAS! You llama!" he screamed pointing a quivering hand at Emmeline Vance.

"NO! It's beetles that shall rule the world!" cried Rita Skeeter, jumping up onto a table. They haunt you wit their demon eyes! AND I WILL RULE THE WORLD WITH THEM!! MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!! I'M EVIL! EVIL, I SAY!"

Emmeline shook her head in disbelief. "How can people be so stupid?"

Candy rolled her eyes. "People! People!" she yelled. "Happy hour was a whole hour ago! That's when we have our little 'rule the world' charade!"

"Get on with it," someone called.

"Right. Well, James is happy with Camilla, and we want to see him happy, right?"

"RIGHT!" Everyone screamed, shortly returning to their arguing.

Camilla sighed. This was utter chaos. And that was what the world would be like if Evans was dating James instead of her. She knew that only she could make him happy, and people had to realize this. Lily was a slut, simple as that. Why couldn't others see that? They always said that Lily was so pure and innocent. Well that was wrong! Camilla was the innocent one!

And she was glad that James had said yes to her. She didn't really want to have to murder Lily. Not as if she had a conscience (not even Camilla could pretend that was true), but she didn't want to go to Azkaban, where she was sure to break a nail. And they didn't even have make-up! Ahh! Besides, Camilla would never want to keep everyone from the pleasure of seeing her face. AND, James probably wouldn't trust her if she murdered someone. But, she still wanted Lily to die.

JAMES WAS HERS! And it was going to stay that way forever. They were going to get married someday (hopefully soon)!

"ALRIGHT!" she screamed. "Settle down!"

Everyone sat down immediately.

"Now, I need to reward Candy for her help. Who has James' hair? It was like Betty, r Barbara, or something…"

"I have it," a small girl named Bertha Jorkins said.

"Hand it over, now."

She did so, and was now holding her hand up to the light. "I am never washing my hand again!"

Davy looked up at her hand hungrily. He scurried over, grabbed the hand, and started to lick it ("I love you James! I want your hair!"). Bertha was looking at him, apparently scared.

"Get off the first year," Camilla said in a bored tone.

Davy did so.

"Who's got the toenail?"

"Me," Charity Burbage said. She raised a hand with three toenails on it.

Camilla looked at her. "You did extra. Give two to Candy, and keep one for yourself."

Charity nodded, and ate her toenail. Candy took the other two, placing one in her hair like a tiara, and the other in her pocket ("That one's going to be sold for millions when I start my 'I Love Potter' shop after Hogwarts.").

"Well, I'll be going. I-"

There was a knock on the door. Everyone turned around and gasped as Sirius Black stumbled in.

"Professor Slughorn? I need- Oh. You aren't old Sluggie, are you?"

The girls giggled, and nodded their heads.

Camilla looked annoyed. The girls worked part time as the Sirius Black is Soooooo Frickin' Hot I Want to Cover Him in Syrup and Lick His Feet Off And…. Let's leave it at that if we want it suitable for children.

Anyways, not Camilla, though. She was faithful to one guy, James.

"I leave him to you, I'm going to dinner."

The girls pounced on Sirius, tying him to a nearby chair.

As she walked out, Camilla heard Candy saying, "Hi. I'm Candy, president of your fan club. Davy here is vice president."

A high girlish scream followed. "NOOOO!! NOT GUDGEON!! KILL ME!! AAAAAHHH!!"

Camilla chuckled to herself as she ascended the stairs up to the front entrance. She was soon in the great hall, witnessing a horrendous sight.

James Potter being kicked off his usual spot.

He was reading the Transfiguration textbook, and Remus sat down next to him. Peter was then whining about how he didn't have a seat. With Peter continually bugging him, James cried, "Here! I'll move! Happy?"

He picked up his bag, and sat a few seats down, still immersed in his textbook, not paying attention to anything else. As Camilla noticed he was right across from Lily.

Camilla, determined not to let her archnemesis get her boyfriend, walked over, and plunked herself down next to James.

"Hi," she said seductively (and tried her best at 'sweet').

"Evening," he grunted back.

Lily looked up, and seemed dually shocked at the fact James was sitting so close, and that he was reading, a _textbook_, no less.

Camilla wondered at this. "James, what are you reading?"

He shrugged, and showed her the outside cover of the textbook.

Lily raised her eyebrow. "James Potter reading a textbook? And it's Transfiguration! I thought you already knew that book front to cover!" she teased.

Camilla looked on sourly. "There's a test tomorrow, though! He's studying!"

Lily looked at Camilla. "Marauders don't study. Not for Transfiguration at least."

Lily leaned over the table, causing Camilla to grind her teeth, as Lily's chest was right in front of James' face.

"Aha! Macbeth! So, you're not reading the textbook! But, what, are you too afraid to admit that the great James Potter can actually read?"

Lily kept on mocking James, but all in a light tone.

Camilla looked affronted. But James muttered, "Yeah. But, I do love Shakespeare."

Lily laughed. "Me too. I like the comedies, though. But, Macbeth and Hamlet are pretty good."

Camilla went blank at what James said. "What's Shakespeare?"

James sighed, and Lily stifled her laughter with her hand.

Soon, thankfully, Lily left, grabbing her bag. As she reached the doors, Camilla got up.

"Got to go, Jamsie. See you later."

Camilla kissed him on the lips, and hurried out. If she had looked back, she would have seen James wiping his face on a napkin, looking disgusted. But, she didn't look back.

Camilla left the hall, and spotted Lily lingering among the doors that led into the library.

Catching up, she spat Lily's name out, very loud. Lily spun around on her heel, and looked down at the petite Camilla.

"Lily," Camilla poured every ounce of venom in her body into her voice. Which made up for a lot of venom. "I want you to stay away from James. Far away."

"We're kind of heads together."

"I don't care. Stay away."

Lily looked unsure, so stormed off, into the depths of the school to think.

Camilla smirked. "You better leave him alone, slut," turning to head back to the Hufflepuff common room.

From behind a bookcase, Marlene sunk onto the floor, her head in her hands.

"Damn you, Camilla."

AN: There are a few things I want to clarify.

I think Hufflepuff is really cool and all, so sorry that I put Camilla in there. No insult to Hufflepuff. It's just that I don't think she's brave or smart, and James would never date a Slytherin. Same goes for my putting Candy in Ravenclaw. I did it because Cho actually got into Ravenclaw.

Also, on the animals will rule the world thing, I wanted to try animals other than oysters. I have seen the llamas in several other stories, and I like the whole llama thing. The beetles I did cause it just went with Rita and all.

Thanks for actually reading this! And please review!


	16. One Friday Afternoon

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: You want to know something awesome? All of the names in the last chapter are mentioned in the actual books! Yay me! Mafalda Hopkirk works at the ministry, doing something or other.

**One Friday Afternoon**

"Marlene!"

Marlene turned around, on her way out of the common room. She was hoping it wasn't Dorcas. Dorcas was scary, and made it her goal to be exactly like Marlene, because both James and Sirius liked Marlene (even if it was only as a friend). She also praying it wasn't Davy Gudgeon. He had many stalker-ish qualities, and liked to stalk her for some strange reason, even though he wasn't straight. And, he wasn't even in Gryffindor to begin with.

Thankfully, it wasn't either Dorcas or Davy (or another one of her plentiful stalkers, whose names, oddly, all begin with D). It was Celestina.

"Tina! Haven't seen you in a while!"

Celestina frowned. "I hate the name Tina; it sounds like an old grandma."

"Alright. Celestina! Haven't seen you in a while!"

Celestina grinned, and said, "That might be because you all have been studying your arses off for Ancient Runes."

Marlene pretended to pout. "Not my fault that Ancient Runes is the hardest!"

"Hm… I don't know. Transfiguration is pretty complicated."

"Not as much as Potions, though."

"What! All you have to do is follow the instructions, and poof! You're done!"

"Well, that opinion will change when you have to memorize the fifty uses for dragon's blood."

"I'd just make it into a song. Then it'd be easy."

"Oh, well aren't you just a little miss smarty-pants?"

"Don't know about that. I'd probably fail Divination, it's so complicated."

Marlene snorted. "Puh-lease. All you have to do to pass that class is tell Trelawney (the old hag) that a bunch of horrible stuff is going to happen to you. Os go to people who say they'll die in two days."

Celestina laughed. "Well, I'm not taking it anyway. It seems kind of woolly."

Marlene sniggered. "That's because the classroom is covered in fabric."

The two laughed together. The laughter died down a bit, until the Fat Lady screeched, "Are you going to exit, or just leave me hanging?!"

Marlene scurried out, and Celestina followed.

Celestina soon asked, "What do you think is the best class? I'm not sure what to take."

"You don't have to choose till the end of your second year, which would be next year. But, I like Arithmancy. It's basically logic, and I ace it. I'm actually best in the class, behind Lily and Remus."

"Cool."

"And what's your favorite class?"

"Oh, I think I like Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Why?"

"I'm a halfblood, so I don't get that much exposure to the wizarding world. I like learning about the magical creatures, and defending ourselves."

"Which one's your favorite?"

"Oh, I think the boggart's pretty interesting."

"Really? I like the vampires. The muggle movies about them are hilarious. Vampires aren't really that bad, but the muggles misunderstand everything."

"Not everything. And even wizards can misunderstand things. Werewolves shouldn't be discriminated against. They have no choice in turning into such a beast."

"That reminds me!"

"What?"

"I have to find Remus! I need help on my paper for Defense Against the Dark Arts. It's on werewolves, and Remus is like a master at every subject. I'm sure he'll know."

"Oh. Well, bye then."

Celestina made to walk off, but Marlene stopped her. "Come with me?"

Celestina smiled, and nodded.

On their way to the common room, Marlene remembered something.

"Remus was going to be in the library today! We're going the wrong way!"

As the tow turned around, a noise came from a nearby closet.

Marlene turned to Celestina, with a grin on her face. "Feel like having a little fun, Celestina?"

Celestine smirked in response, and Marlene opened the door to the broom closet.

Inside were Mary and Evan. They were-

A hand slapped across Celestina's eyes. "Sorry, Celestina. But this scene is R rated."

Celestina was now quite gad her vision was blocked.

"What are you doing Mary? I didn't know you were like this!"

Marlene faked a dramatic sob. Celestina knew that both Mary and Evan were currently blushing.

"Well, I'll let you continue in you, um, _activities_, but make sure you lock the door! We don't want any kiddies mentally scarred for life, do we now?"

The door was slammed shut, the hand rose, and Celestina could see again. The first thing she noticed was that Marlene was grinning cheerfully.

Celestina must have had a confused look on her face, because Marlene told her, "Mary and Evan are _finally_ together. And that can be meant in more ways than one!"

They made their way to the library, where they found Remus in the back, surrounded by a huge pile of books.

"Remmy!" Marlene shouted, joyfully.

Remus lifted his head, and rose an eyebrow.

"Evan and Mary are finally together!"\

Remus smiled. "How do you know this?"

Marlene leaned over, and whispered something in his ear. The smile dropped off his face, and he looked disgusted.

"That's sick, Marlene."

"Well, at least they're together."

"I suppose. Now, what exactly are you hear for?"

"I needed help on the werewolf paper!"

Remus grinned that 'I know something you don't grin' and answered, "Sure, I'll help you."

"Thank you!"

Celestina watched them get out papers, leaning over books and such to get answers, shortly returning to the papers to scribble something down.

"Is there anything I can do? I really don't care," she offered, seeing nothing interesting about this.

Remus looked thoughtful. "Well… I suppose. Are you interested in do a little undercover work for our matchmaking?"

"How? Am I supposed to be a spy? Dress in all black?"

"No, but I have something better."

Remus led her up to the common room, where he ran up into the boys' dormitories, coming back down with a silvery material in hand.

"Here," he said, thrusting the material into her hands.

"What is it?"

"An invisibility cloak."

"How the bloody hell did you get that?"

Remus laughed heartily. "It's James. His father gave it to him."

"And I can really use it?"

"Sure, just return it to a marauder, other than James, by the end of the day. Or I'll have to dismember you."

"I swear I'll give it back."

"Good, now, don't mind me. I have to go help Marlene. She'll kill me otherwise."

Remus left the common room, and Celestina swung the silvery cloak over her head. Looking in a nearby window, she was completely gone, invisible.

She headed to the portrait, intending to find James and Lily, and do a little matchmaking.

On the way out, she heard Peter say, "So, um, Jily picks up a quill from the groud, and Lames adopts a turtle?"

Celestina, very bewildered, turned back to where Peter was, in an attempt to figure out what was going on. She found Peter sitting next to Sirius in the far corner, chewing on his quill.

"Peter! That is not soap opera worthy! Tell me again what we're doing!"

"Writing soap operas off of James and Lily," Peter said dully.

"And naming them Jily and Lames," Sirius added, whilst nodding in approval.

"Wait, which one's the guy?"

"Idiot. Lames is the guy, Jily is the girl."

"Oh…."

The two sat in silence for a while, the only noise being the occasional scratching of a quill.

"But, what are we supposed to write?" Peter questioned.

Sirius sighed exasperatedly. "Here, listen to my soap opera. Lames finally gets Jily to marry him, alright? But, Reter comes along, and gives them Amortentia that Pirius brews (because Pirius is a genius). This is on the orders of Semus, who is in love with Jily, and wants her for his own. Jily stays in love with Lames, but Lames leaves her at the alter to chase after Bob the oyster, who he now wants to marry. A few years later, Jily is about to marry Semus, who she doesn't love, but has convinced herself she does. Lames has fell out of the Amortentia's spell recently (since Pirius was able to brew it so well), and wants Jily back. So, it is now up to Lames to win back Jily's heart, with the help of the llamas, who ate Bob."

Celestina blinked. What the bloody hell?

Peter clapped his hands and cheered for Sirius. "Brilliant! Bloody brilliant that was!"

Sirius bowed, causing Celestina to roll her eyes, and set off to find James and Lily. Which wasn't that hard, considering the fact that she had just spotted James walk in, over to the far couch, settled back in the corner.

Celestina followed James to the couch, and found Lily, who was going over her lines. Why hadn't she noticed Lily before?

"Tony! Luigi! My babies!" Lily muttered to herself over and over again.

"What are you doing?" James asked.

Lily blushed, and sat straight up. "Oh, rehearsing lines."

Celestina shook her head sadly. This girl was head over heels for James, and couldn't realize it. And James was head over heels for her too…

A loud growling broke her out of her reverie.

"Just my stomach," Lily mumbled

James looked at Lily concernedly. "Did you eat lunch?"

Lily blushed. "I was kind of finishing my Charms essay then. I forgot to eat."

James looked shocked. "Forget to eat! How is that possible?"

Lily snorted. "Not everyone is a food eating machine like you, James."

James smiled back. "That just leaves more food for me."

"James, the food is never ending. Surely you know about that!"

"Well, speaking of that, how about I escort you down to the kitchens?"

"If you tell me where they are, I'm sure I could go myself."

"No, I feel like eating."

Lily laughed. "Do you ever not feel like eating?"

"So is that a yes?"

"Yes. That is a yes."

James grinned, and held out his hand, which Lily took, smiling.

The two walked down to the kitchen, laughing and joking all the way, with Celestina following behind.

James tickled the pear, and they entered the kitchen, where a house elf scurried up to the pair.

"What would you like Mr. Potter, and Miss-?"

"Evans. Miss Evans," James supplied, though Celestina was sure he really wanted to say Mrs. Potter.

"And Miss Evans. What would you like?"

Lily looked thoughtful, and soon replied, "I think spaghetti and meatballs would be nice."

James looked at her, surprised, "I was thinking the same thing!"

The house elf nodded, and left to fetch the dishes, and Celestina followed. She stooped down low, and whispered something in his ear. The house elf nodded, and hurried off, a grin on his face.

After a few minutes of conversation, James and Lily's spaghetti arrived. On one plate. At least they had two forks.

Lily looked shocked, but picked up a fork and started eating. James did the same. They continued with their conversation on protection charms, soon boring Celestina.

She stood up, as she had been lying sprawled across the floor. She turned to leave, and saw James and Lily were closer than they had been before. Celestina grinned. They were meant for each other.

She turned, and headed back up the stairs, until she heard a familiar voice. Frank's voice.

"Are you sure this'll work, Alice?"

"Yes, I'm sure! This is the central charmed system, that keeps that lights on and all. I make a few tweaks, and it's ready!"

"Perfect!"

"I know. I'm sick of being a goody two shoes! I want to be wild and dangerous for once!"

"Break the rules!"

"And this is a prank that'll blow others out of the water!"

"Plus Black will be the one blamed! MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

I'M EVIL!"

What followed was a lot of creepy evil cackling.

Celestina decided to take off the cloak, seeing as the library was close, and she could give it to Remus. But, she bumped into someone first.

"Ah, Celestina! I've been looking for you!"

Looking up, Celestina saw a sixth year, who had a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

"Who are you?"

'Mafalda Hopkirk."

"Yes? What is it you want?"

"You dislike Camilla Brown, right?"

Thinking of how Camilla had ruined the absolutely perfect relationship, Celestina said, "Of course!"

"Good, because I have a little proposition for you…"

AN: Cliffie! I hope you liked it. I am extremely proud of the soap operas and Frank and Alice's prank. What do you like? Review!


	17. Those Crazy Italians

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

AN: Enjoy, and happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans!

**Those Crazy Italians**

Celestina rushed out of the common room. She was late! She had promised to get to the performances early, to help set up, and she was late! At least she had a valid excuse…

It all started fifteen minutes ago, when she was supposed to leave, so she could help get the stage ready for the group's skit.

She wanted to be extra early, and positively scurried out of her dorm room. On the way out though, she bumped into Amy Spinnet and Penny Patil. Penny crashed to the ground, and Celestina had practically dropped to her knees to see if Penny was okay.

Penny was perfectly fine, but her bag had fallen, and it sounded like a few things had crashed. So, Celestina decided to stay and make sure everything was fine.

It was, except for one scrappy bit of parchment, that looked as if it had been fondled, held, and looked over many times.

Looking over the parchment, Celestina had found it was a moving picture of a dark skinned guy, whose abs were showing.

"Sorry. Well, no damage was done, so I'll just be going. Sorry, though."

That was when Penny cried out in disgust, "WHAT?!"

"I'll stay then?"

"NO! How dare you say no damage was done?"

At this, Celestina looked over to Amy, who was the friendlier of the two (albeit they were both usually very friendly).

Amy was looking shocked too. "Celestina. I know you're a halfblood and all, but by now, you should probably know who Kingsley Shacklebolt is."

Penny scoffed. "Yeah, the hottest auror- no, wizard- no, HUMAN to walk the earth!"

Celestina had giggled at this. "Yeah, he's pretty hot. No one can deny that. But, as for humans, have you ever seen Paul McCartney"

"Who's he?"

"A muggle. But a hot one at that."

At this point, Penny decided to take teaching Celestina who the hottest person on the earth was, into her own hands ("Say 'Shacklebolt is hotter than McCartney! Say it!").

It wasn't till just then that Celestina had been let out.

So, she was now running down the stairs, leaping down a few at a time, to reach the great hall.

Once she was there, she burst through the great hall, and found the Ancient Runes class there (without the teacher) going over lines, and props, and such.

Sirius was the first to spot her, and called out, "Celestina! We thought you wouldn't make it!"

"C'mon over!" Mary cried to her.

Celestina did, and as she got there, Lily asked, "What took you so long?"

"Penny and Amy found out I didn't know who Kingsley Shacklebolt was."

At the mention of his name, Marlene squealed, "He is sooooooo HOT! I want to like, eat him alive!"

"I know!" added Mary.

"But, we're going to be faithful to our boyfriends," reproached Alice.

Mary looked downhearted, saying, "Oh, right."

Evan rolled his eyes. "Oh, yeah. Thanks."

Lily looked at them. "You know what? I've never heard of him before in my life."

"WHAT!" Marlene cried, very outraged.

Celestina laughed. "Join the club, Lily."

"Kingsley's a family friend of mine. He works alongside my parents," James said.

"Don't let Penny and Amy find that out."

The group laughed. But, Sirius got them back to business. "Right. Well, enough with that. We need to get our set together. And, as a memo, we're the last group to go."

"What should we do?" Frank asked.

"Well, Frank, you, Evan, Wormy, and Moony will move the tables."

"Where to?"

"There are two tables, and I want them, from the audience's point of view, in the lower left hand side of the stage."

The four set off to find two round tables. Sirius turned to James, "We will set up the counter for the kitchen. I want it along the back, but we'll get to that later."

James nodded, and Sirius turned to Marlene. "There's a podium somewhere along the furniture Dumbledore's conjured for us, and I want you to set it up in the upper right hand part of the stage. That'll be the hostess' stand."

Marlene winked at him, and left to find the podium.

Sirius turned to Lily and Mary. "You two get to collect the costumes."

Mary rolled her eyes, and sarcastically cried, "Yay!"

"Go."

The two trudged off.

Sirius crouched down next to Celestina, and beckoned Mary to do the same. "You two are setting up the props; pans, tablecloths, that stuff."

Sirius left with James to construct the counter. Alice turned to Celestina and smiled. "You ready?"

"Just one question, where are we getting all this stuff?"

Alice laughed. "I was confused about that at first, too. See, there are two groups, and we go second. But, we're setting up downstage, and Dumbledore created this complicated spell that switches the two sets when the first group is done. He also conjured all that junk over there."

Alice pointed to her left, and Celestina followed her gaze, and gasped. There was a gigantic pile of odds and ends.

"And, since James, Remus, Lily, and Sirius are all awesome at Transfiguration, we can conjure up anything else we need."

"Cool."

"Now lets get to it."

Alice found two checkered tablecloths, and Celestina helped her lay them over the tables. They also set the tables with napkins and silverware.

Soon, Marlene was done with her job, and could help them supply the 'kitchen'. It was really a counter in front of the back curtains of Dumbledore's stage.

Slowly, everyone finished his or her jobs.

"Sirius, what are we supposed to do when we're done?" was asked numerous times.

"Practice your lines!" was always the answer.

It was around then that Celestina started to notice how the others were now speaking in cheesy Italian accents.

"Alice, what's with the accents?"

Marlene laughed, and Alice answered, "Practice."

Celestina opened her mouth to ask what that meant, but Marlene stopped her. "You'll see."

Minutes later, Lily and Mary were back, their arms loaded with different colored fabrics.

"Costumes," Mary said, unnecessarily. Everyone other than Celestina had crowded around them.

"People! Wait for your costume to be handed to you! And change backstage, where Celestina can't see!" Sirius managed to yell over the crowd.

Sirius then walked over to Celestina and said, "Sorry. But we want it to be a surprise. Why don't you sit down? Get a good seat?"

Celestin nodded, and opened the curtains, making her way down from the stage.

In that small bit of time, Dumbledore had cleaned up the extra props, and conjured chairs. Students were slowly wandering in. Celestina hopped down, taking her place in the very middle of the front row.

Seeing as nothing was happening, Celestina took to closely examining her fingernails, and humming a song she had created that year, 'A Cauldron of Hot Strong Love.'

Soon, however, she felt someone sit next to her. Looking up, she saw it was Bilius Weasley. Celestina could feel herself blush. She had always liked him. He was cute, with his ginger red hair, and freckles. His hair was so silky, she really wanted to run her fingers through it at times. He also had the bluest eyes she had ever seen; they looked like the sky on a clear summer day.

But, she denied this all, as she was only in first year.

He still made her laugh. He, as everyone knew, was resolved to take over the position of class clown once the marauders left. Everyone respected them, but he also seemed to respect her too, for being on such close terms with them.

Looking at him closely, Celestina could tell Bilius was also blushing.

The two averted their eyes, and stayed that way, until Dumbledore walked up onto the stage.

"Ah, I see we are all here. This performance is on the behalf of the Ancient Runes class, which I hope will grow more popular as the years pass. These students represent their houses, and at the end of the skits, there is a small surprise at hand."

The students cheered as the curtains first opened.

The first skit was one about a pair of students who disrupt the OWLs, and rid the school of a tyrannical teacher. It wasn't completely humorous, but it still got a large applause.

The curtains then closed for a few seconds, and reopened, to show two people. James, in a chef's hat and apron, and Marlene, in a fifties style waitress outfit. They stood completely still, in an everyday pose, as if they were a picture.

Sirius walked on, with the large-hipped pants, and a beret. "Hello, everyone. This is a production of my written work, 'Mamma Mia!' I know everyone is speaking in an Italian accent, and some weird things happen, but we are under no circumstances insulting the Italian culture or people. Thank you, and enjoy."

As he walked offstage, James and Marlene began to move, as if they had never stopped in the first place. And, true to Sirius' word, they were all speaking in Italian accents.

"Where are the customers?" James demanded.

"I do not know!" Marlene replied, looking upset.

"There is no point of my being here, without the customers!"

"Ah, but here they come!"

Remus walked in, and said, "I'd like to just sit at the counter." He was wearing everyday muggle clothes.

Marlene pointed him to the counter, where he sat, and told James, "One pasta, please."

James nodded, and turned to carry out the order.

Next, Mary and Alice walked out, and over to the podium, where Marlene was standing. They were both wearing very chic black and white muggle outfits.

"Table for two," Mary said, managing to sound both snobby and Italian at the same time.

Marlene nodded, "Yes, misses-"

Mary and Alice were both looking outraged. "Isabella and Caterina! Don't you know the two most famous supermodels in all of Italia!"

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Marlene picked up two menus, and led them to a table. The two sat down and looked over the menus.

"What would you like?"

"A pizza, and two coca-colas," Alice replied.

The two started whispering rudely about how horrible the place was.

Marlene walked to James. "A pizza."

"No! I do not make a pizza! I make a pasta!"

Celestina snorted. James definitely had the accents down. Looking around, she saw that everyone was laughing, and even McGonagall was letting her mouth twitch!

"But they want a pizza!" Marlene cried.

"Well, I don't make a pizza, do I?"

Marlene trudged over to Mary and Alice. "He will not make a pizza!"

"But, we want a pizza! We will sue you!"

James grumped and yelled over, "Fine! I will make a pizza!"

Marlene sighed, and sat behind her podium. That was when Frank, Evan, and Peter came in. The three were wearing black dress pants, and white tees. Frank had a black sports jacket on, and Evan had a black leather jacket.

The three walked to center stage, and Frank cried, "Mario! What did I tell you! You need to bury the body before the police come!"

Peter looked down, and mumbled, "Sorry Little Tony, and sorry Big Tony."

"There you go. Now, Tony, you must get the Vincis to pay up. They are past their dues!" Evan continued.

At this point, some students were rolling on the ground laughing, at the addition of the mafia.

Marlene stood behind them and coughed.

The three turned around. "Oh. Table for three," Frank said.

Marlene placed at the table right next to Mary and Alice, and headed back to James, who handed her pasta and a pizza. Marlene gave the pasta to Remus, and the pizza to Mary and Alice. Peter ordered one pizza for the three guys.

Frank and Evan turned around, spotting Mary and Alice. Evan stood up, and walked over to the pair, suavely running a hand through his slicked back hair.

"Hello, ladies. Fancy some company?"

"No," Mary replied. But Evan and Frank still persisted in sitting next to the girls. Evan tried to put his arm around her, but Mary slapped it away.

"What are such pretty girls like yourselves doing here?" Frank asked.

"Eating," said Mary snobbily.

"But that's kind of impossible sitting next to someone as ugly as you," Alice amended, "You bring up our gag reflexes."

Lily then walked in. She was dressed in an old granny dress, and frilly apron. Her red hair was hidden beneath a gray wig.

Marlene stood up, as to address her, but Lily saw Evan.

"Tony! Luigi! Ma babies!" she cried happily, making her way over to Frank and Evan,, ignoring Peter.

Evan jumped up, and cried "Mamma!" in distress. In return, Lily pinched his cheek, and as she let go, Evan rubbed it.

Lily looked around, and her gaze landed on Mary and Alice.

"Luigi! What are you doing with zhez girls?"

"Nothing!" Mary called out in distaste, standing up, and throwing down her napkin. "I'll make sure of that!"

Lily grabbed Evan by the ear, and began to pull him offstage likewise. Alice was trying shoving Frank off her arm, while Mary was swatting at Evan with her napkin. Marlene was burying her head in her hands, and James was yelling 'I don't want to make a pizza!' after getting the last order. Peter was cowering under the table.

Finally, Remus jumped up, and yelled, "All of zhez crazy people! I am never coming here again!"

Remus stormed out, as everyone else froze, and stared in wonder.

"Drama queen," Mary muttered, and there was a murmur of general agreement, before everyone returned to his or her previous activities.

The curtains closed, and the nine, along with Sirius, came out front, and took a bow.

After that, Celestina felt a ringing in her ears, from the tumultuous applause. They had got a unanimous standing ovation!

Bilius looked over at her, and said, "Nice work."

"But I wasn't in it!"

"But you helped, didn't you?"

"How do you know?"

They both blushed and looked away.

Thankfully, Dumbledore was soon up again, and asking the other group to come up to the stage too.

"Now, I want to know who you think did the best job. The performance of 'OWLs' or 'Mamma Mia'?"

Dumbledore waved his wand, and everyone got a slip of parchment and a quill.

Once everyone had written down their favorite, Dumbledore summoned the slips, and scanned them all, before announcing, "Mamma Mia is the winner by a unanimous landslide! The Gryffindors will get a party on the last day of winter break!"

The Gryffindors broke out cheering, and Dumbledore left the stage smiling. Sirius was soon in the front, bowing, and doing all sorts of other obnoxious things. Celestina thought of something, and whispered it into Bilius; ear, and he smiled.

Bilius conjured up a small, sparkly, purple tiara, that was covered in feathers. Celestina banished it to land on Sirius' head.

Which, it did. Sirius did not see, and spent the rest of the day like with it on, amidst the sniggers of the other students.

When he finally figured out what happened and who did it, he cornered Celestina and yelled, "I DO NOT LIKE TO BE MADE INTO A LAUGHINGSTOCK! YOU DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED!"

Celestina then pouted, with large puppy dog eyes, and Sirius continued, "Do not use the puppy dog eyes! I created those! NOOOOO… Alright, I can't stay mad at you forever…"

AN: I'm proud of Lily's part in the skit. I had always envisioned that happening. And review! Please!


	18. Christmas!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: Guess what? I'm going to actually make a character(s) up this chapter. Review to tell me who you think they are! Though, it's kind of obvious.

**Christmas!**

"OI! MOONY-POO! WAKE UP!"

Remus slowly opened his eyes. He had awoken to a pressure on his bed, that wasn't him. With his eyes open, he could tell that Sirius was jumping on his bed, and yelling in what he thought was a rhythmic voice.

Sitting up groggily, he called, "Shut up, Padfoot."

Sirius adopted a curious expression. "Why would I do that?"

James, who was sleeping on the bed next to Remus, called, "Because if you don't, we will both kill you."

"But, guys! It's Christmas! CHRISTMAS, YOU HEAR ME!"

Remus glared at Sirius, as Frank, Evan, and Peter began to get up.

"Padfoot?"

"Yes, Moony?"

"You remember my Christmas list?"

"Of course! It shockingly only had two things on it!"

James was sitting up, and putting on his glasses. "Padfoot, just because you had exactly three hundred and seventy six items on your Christmas list, it does not mean two things is barely anything."

"Says the person who had one thing on his list; Evans. How the bloody hell am I supposed to get her?!"

Remus called over, "I couldn't get her, but I got you something different, that fine?"

"Yeah. Don't worry."

"I couldn't get her, Prongs, so you don't get anything from me this year. That fine?"

James rolled his eyes, reminding Remus of what he had originally been saying.

"So, there were two things on the list. One was _A History and Lives of Famous Werewolves_. Do you remember the second?"

"No. Do enlighten me, Moony."

"I really don't get what's up with those nicknames, " Evan muttered from below his many blankets.

"It said, and I quote, 'This is for Sirius: LET ME SLEEP IN ON CHRISTMAS!'"

"Oh. I still don't see the problem."

James groaned. "You are an idiot? You know that?"

"You better be sure to put it on your resume, Sirius," laughed Frank.

"What's a resume? But, anyway, what's the problem, Moony?"

"You didn't let me sleep in!"

"Yeah, I did! We fell asleep around midnight, and as of now, I have given you three hours to sleep!"

Remus groaned. "It's only three in the morning?"

"I knew I shouldn't have given you that extra hour!"

"Shut up, Sirius!"

"But I don't want to shut up! I want to talk, and talk, and talk, and eat, and talk, and sleep and bit, and talk, and eat a ton of candy, and talk, and talk, and eat, and talk-"

"_Silencio!_" Peter's voice shouted from across the room.

"Thanks, Wormtail," James said, crashing back to his pillow.

"Wormtail! I didn't know you had finally mastered that charm!" Remus said, astounded.

"Actually, I just did it for the first time," Peter shrugged.

"But, we all learned that back in fourth year!" Evan said, bewildered.

"They say that you're more likely to do magic when you're stressed, and the situation calls for it," Frank added.

"So, why did you silence him anyway?" James' voice asked.

"Malibu doctor/ballerina/CEO/president/waitress/lifeguard/supermodel/newscaster/lawyer/teacher Barbie and I needed our beauty sleep."

Everyone else in the room exchanged odd glances, as Peter flopped back onto the bed, and his snores were soon heard.

After a while, Frank asked, "Why hasn't anyone else gone to sleep?"

"Impossible with Peter's snores," James said simply.

"And, PRESENTS!!" exclaimed Evan, strongly reminding Remus of a three year old.

Remus sighed, and collected the presents at the foot of his bed. Unwrapping them, he found a plethora of things. Thankfully, James had restocked his chocolate stash (Sirius found it again) with fifty premium Honeydukes gigantic chocolate bars. From everyone else, he got a lot of books. Lily, bless her soul, was the one person who thought of getting him his book on werewolves, even though he hadn't even given her a copy of his wish list (she had figured out his secret in their second year). Sirius, though, was a whole different case.

Sirius had given Remus a sloppy book, looking as if it was put together by a two year old, titled _A History and Lives of Famous Oysters_. Remus looked up at Sirius, raising his eyebrow, and holding up the book.

For once, Sirius seemed to understand what was going on, and hastened to his trunk, pulling out a piece of parchment, and a quill, and started scribbling away on the parchment.

The parchment was soon balled up, and thrown at Remus, hitting him on the head.

"Ow…"

Unfurling the parchment, Remus could barely make out Sirius' handwriting, but attempted anyway. It read:

_About that. You wrote on your wish list for that weird book about werewolves. But, I decided to get you something more interesting. They say if you like something, it'd make a good gift, right?_

Remus groaned, but continued reading.

_So, I thought it be much more interesting if it were about oysters. So, I searched all of Hogsmeade, and every singe catalogue I could find to look for a book about oysters. But, to my shock, there were none!_

Remus laughed. Sirius could be very idiotic at times.

_So, I decided to make one for you. And here it is! Read it!_

Remus flipped through it, his expression getting more confused by the minute.

"This only has two oysters! And they're Bob and Bobita!"

Sirius was making weird hand gestures and such, as he had no more parchment, so Remus caved in, and performed the countercurse.

"So, they're famous!"

"Padfoot. The definition of famous is widely known."

"Yeah, they are widely known, in Hogwarts!"

Remus couldn't deny that. What, with Sirius parading them around like such, everyone knew them. Countless people (and all of them already in a relationship) had to suffer through Sirius trying to set them up with one of the oysters (Professor Slughorn included). The girls in his fan club also had it out for Bobita, Sirius' current girlfriend. Or should I be saying oyster-friend? But, Sirius was right when he said that Bob and Bobita were famous in Hogwarts. Though, Remus would have said infamous.

Remus decided to not think about Bob, and asked, "What did you guys get?"

Sirius was hoping up and down, and yelled, "I got candy! From everyone except James!"

Remus suddenly regretted giving Sirius a chocolate frog for Christmas (that was all Remus felt Sirius deserved).

"And James gave me this awesome pocket knife that can slice through anything!"

Everyone other than Sirius turned to glare at James.

"You gave Sirius a pocket knife?" Remus demanded.

"Are you insane! You have to be!" shouted Frank.

The heads all turned to Frank.

"You insulted someone!" exclaimed Evan.

"YAY FRANK!" a very sugar high Sirius cried, bouncing over to Frank. Sirius pulled Frank into a very tight hug, and started to bawl. "My little Frankie- he's growing up!" Sirius began to bawl even harder.

Remus was sure everyone would wake up because of it, and said, "Why don't we go down and see the Christmas tree?"

"YAAY CHRISTMAS TREE!"

Sirius bounded out of the room and down the steps.

"Here, you go down, and make sure he stays out of trouble. I'll stay and look for the knife, to confiscate," a smirking Evan offered.

Remus, James, and Frank decided that was the best thing to do, and left the dormitories.

In the common room, even though it was only a little after three in the morning, Sirius was running around the room, and singing the Hippogriff's greatest hits. Remus thought he saw Mary sneak up into the boys dormitories out of the corner of his eye.

The Hippogriffs were an up and coming popular wizarding band. It wasn't so much of an actual rock band as a boy band. Most of the guys in the year were opposed to it, because of all the girls fawning over them. Bobby, and Ricky, Danny, Freddy, and Timmy. The five band most hated band members in the world (by guys, that is). And their names all ended in 'y'.

Sirius seemed to be the only guy immune to the fact that they were notorious girl-stealers. But that might have been because Sirius was a girl stealer himself.

The three had to restrain Sirius in a straight jacket that Remus had conjured, which took a long time. They had then shoved him in an impenetrable playpen, where he was surrounded by toys. By four in the morning, Sirius was restrained, and Remus, James, and Frank were sitting by the fireside. Frank had fallen asleep in one of the far off armchairs, Remus was hidden in another armchair, reading the book Lily had given him. James was sitting cross-legged on the couch, leaning on his palm, and staring into the depths of the crackling fire.

Footsteps could be soon heard making their way down the stairs. Remus looked up briefly, and saw Lily standing over James.

"Morning, James. You're all alone, or have you noticed?"

Remus was just about to ask her why he didn't count as anyone, until he realized that she couldn't she him form behind his armchair. He also quickly decided this was a good position for eavesdropping.

"Oh, hello."

A rustling of fabrics, and a soft plunk told Remus that Lily had sat down.

"So," Lily began. "What are you doing up this early?"

"Well, I really woke up an hour earlier, because of Sirius."

"I thought I heard something. Where is he?"

"Over there."

Remus presumed James was pointing to Sirius' playpen, and looked over himself. There, he saw Sirius happily combing a troll doll's hair.

"Nice."

"Well, what are you doing up this early?"

"It's Christmas. I can never really sleep. I'm always too giddy."

James laughed.

Their conversation went on for a bit, but, unfortunately, Remus could tell they weren't getting very far romantically.

"Well, you probably haven't been as giddy as some girls I know."

"And is that why you dumped them?"

Remus could practically feel James blush. "Oh, and for other reasons."

"Like what?"

"It's hard to explain. You haven't dated before, have you?"

"No."

"See? It's hard to explain to someone who hasn't dated. But, anyway, why haven't you dated? Everyone else in the grade has."

"I never really felt like it."

Remus raised an eyebrow, and apparently James did too, because Lily amended, "Fine. Not really. It's just; my parents had the perfect relationship. They didn't date until they were in their twenties, and their first dates were each other! They never even dated anyone else."

"So…?"

"You are such a guy!" Lily laughed.

"No, please, I want to know."

"Well, I grew up witnessing this perfect relationship, and I've grown up wanting that. It'd be pretty hard to compete with that. Let's face it. There are a billion people on this planet, and my soul mate is only one of them. I'm never going to find him. So, I figure I should give up, before my hopes are crushed."

"Lily…" James started. "Have you ever heard of something called fate? It's intertwined with love. Fate brings you together with your one true love, or soul mate, which ever you prefer. It's magic, really. And, if you were able to get that letter on your eleventh birthday, come to Hogwarts, and ace every class, then why can't fate be true, too? Why can't you be brought together with your love?"

Remus blinked. He had never heard James say anything along the lines of that before.

Lily also seemed to be thinking along the same lines. "Wow… That was deep."

"I should hope so, I got it off of one of my mum's romance novels."

The two started laughing, and Remus did too. He raised a hand to stifle his laughter, and saw a note he had written on his hand the night before.

"Oh yeah!"

He jumped out of the seat, and scurried to the boys' staircase.

Lily gasped. "You were there, Remus? How much did you hear?"

"Enough," Remus responded, with a wink.

He hurried up to the first years' room, where the boys were unwrapping presents, obviously awakened by Sirius' prior commotions. Bilius was soon spotted, what with his red hair, and Remus pulled him right outside the doorway.

"What is it?" Bilius asked worriedly.

"You know how you told me you like Celestina?"

Bilius nodded.

"Well, today is the day you ask her to the Yule Ball!"

Bilius gulped. "Today! Why not tomorrow? Yeah! Tomorrow!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Because, tomorrow would be too late, seeing as the ball is _tonight_."

Bilius groaned, and Remus scanned the little view of the common room he had.

"Oh no, Sirius' broken lose!"

Remus rushed down the stairs, Bilius following.

"Sirius!" Remus hissed. "What are you doing?" Remus asked, pointing to the various bushes and other plants he had scattered around the floor.

"Oh, just decorating. Hey! Lily!"

"What?" Lily called back.

"Would you put up the mistletoe?"

"Sure- wait, what?"

"C'mon, you know you want to have a little Christmas spirit!"

A few of the other students (including Celestina) who were entering the common room, yelled, "Yeah!"

Celestina walked up to Lily and asked, "Please?"

Lily glared at Sirius, and replied, "Fine. But only because of the first years."

She charmed the mistletoe up, right above Sirius' head. He was standing right next to Celestina at that point. He grinned, and crouched down, kissing her on the cheek.

Remus could hear Bilius grinding his teeth, and walked over the Sirius.

"You shouldn't do that," Remus muttered in his ear.

"Why not?"

"Because Bilius has a little crush on Celestina. He was planning on asking her to the ball."

"Oh, really?" Sirius grinned, and then shouted across the room, "OH, CELESTINA!"

Celestina turned, to face Sirius.

"I want to know," Sirius continues yelling. "WILL YOU GO WITH BILIUS TO THE BALL?"

Celestina blushed, and nodded, before running upstairs. Bilius was also turning beet red, but looked happy all the same.

After a few minutes of happy banter, Marlene was rushing down the stairs. She seemed to have just gotten out of the shower, because her hair was all wet and stringy, and she was only wearing a towel.

"GUESS WHAT I JUST HEARD?" she screamed joyfully. "DUMBLEDORE BOOKED THE HIPPOGRIFFS FOR TONIGHT!!" She quickly ran upstairs again, to throw on some clothes, as Remus predicted.

All the girls in the room started screaming, squealing, or both. When Marlene was back, she was ranting, "Ricky is like sooo HOTT!"

Alice was disagreeing, "No, Freddy's cuter."

"But I was talking about hot, and hot and cute are completely different!"

"NO!" Mary cut in. "Everyone knows that Bobby's the cutest! I mean, with those gorgeous baby blue eyes, and those precious golden locks, so perfectly curled!"

All the girls sighed together, as if on cue.

Lily, on the other hand, was laughing at them. Remus watched James approach her.

"So, Lily, who do you think is the cute one? Or the hot one, or whatever?"

Lily giggled. "Timmy. He's the smart one."

"You sure do care about brains, don't you, Lily?"

"Yep. And, everyone else in the band's blond. I like how he has dark hair."

"You don't like blond guys?"

"No, not exactly. Guys like Amos Diggory are fine. But, too much blond, and, well, it just makes me want to gag at points."

Remus tore his eyes away from the broadly grinning James to talk to Marlene.

"Hey Marlene!"

"Hello, and merry Christmas."

"You too. So, how'd the shopping go?"

"It was fine, and it didn't take that long. I mean, it's not like we're Camilla, or something."

Marlene spat the last part, so Remus decided to get her mind off Camilla. "You probably got an easier time then me. You know how the dress code is formal muggle wear?"

Marlene nodded.

"Well, James, Frank, Evan, Peter, and I all found everything we needed in a relatively short time, but-"

"Then there was Sirius?" Marlene smirked.

"Yeah. Sirius decided that a toga was muggle wear. We had a difficult time convincing him not to get that. Then there was the clown outfit, the nightgown, yes, a woman's nightgown, and the all time high-"

"Worse than a woman's nightgown?"

"Yes, even though the nightgown was pretty much see-through…"

"It was see-through? Whatever can top that must be hilarious!"

"Hilarious and downright disgusting. The last thing was a loincloth. Just a loincloth."

Marlene fell to the floor laughing. She was pounding the ground with her fist, and her legs were kicking all over the place.

Once she had settled down, she asked, "So, what's he wearing to the ball tonight?"

"You'll just have to wait and see…"

"Damn."

AN: I profusely apologize for any hurried writing, or cheesiness. If you haven't figured it out by now, I am (no matter how good or bad of an actual writer) extremely lazy when it comes to writing. But, I really am sorry. So, please don't review about that. Not like I haven't noticed. You'd all kill me if I didn't update, so here it is.

Now, I actually added in some fairly serious romance-ness (sort of) between James and Lily. What do you think? Need more, or want to stay with the funny parts? Honestly, I don't think I'm very good with the serious romance part. It took me forever to come up with James' monologue about fate and everything, and I hate that part the most.

Right, so REVIEW!


	19. The Yule Ball

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: Just wanted to say, I do not, and will never plan on Marlene and Remus getting together. They're just friends. And now, the chapter you have all been waiting for….

**The Yule Ball**

"Where are you Lily?"

Alice was pacing her dorm, with Marlene and Mary watching on nervously. They had all showered, gotten dressed in their clothes, applied make-up, and down their hair. Lily on the other hand, was not anywhere in sight. She had done absolutely nothing yet, and they only had an hour and a half left!

"Sorry! Am I late?" Lily cried, scurrying into the room, only wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

"Yes, you are," replied Mary.

"And we only have an hour and a half left to make you beautiful!" cried Marlene.

Alice just stood, there tapping her foot, and glaring at Lily.

"Yes?" Lily asked nervously.

"Shower, now."

Ten minutes later, Lily was out of the shower, and Mary and Marlene were drying her hair magically.

"So…" Mary began, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Where were you?"

"I already told you, I was putting up the decorations with Potter."

"It sure took a long time," Marlene continued. "You sure you didn't do something _else_?"

"Yes! I'm sure!" Lily exclaimed, jumping up. Mary and Marlene restrained her.

"Lily, you're my best friend, you know that?" Alice said, walking over.

"Yeah, you're mine too, along with Mary and Marlene," Lily responded, looking unsure of what was going on.

"Lily, we know you like James. Why are you oppressing that?"

"He's an arrogant bullying toerag jerk! Isn't it obvious?"

Alice raised her eyebrow.

"There's something between you, don't think we can't sense it," Marlene added.

"So? How do you know its love?"

"Hello? I have a boyfriend! Or is Evan chopped liver to you?" Mary retorted.

"You're all insane. Potter is Potter. How could anyone like him, let alone love him?"

Mary smiled. "You do remember how I'm good at Divination? Well, Lily, it's written in the stars that you two are meant to be."

"Humph. Divination is a bunch of baloney."

Mary shook her head, and returned to styling Lily's hair. Alice was painting Lily's nails, and looked up, saying, "Lily. Why are you being so tough on yourself?"

"Am not!"

"Fine, but what's wrong with James? Give me one solid reason."

"He bullies everyone! He goes around hexing people!"

Marlene, who was applying Lily's make-up, rolled her eyes. "And name one time he's done that in the past year."

"Um… Well…"

"There you go."

"But! What about the Slytherins?"

"That was one time, Lily!"

"But he sent them into the hospital wing for a day!"

"A day?" Marlene repeated, her eyebrow raised.

"And, Lily, try to remember, why did he hex them?" Mary asked.

"I don't know. Most likely because they were Slytherins."

"No! Lily, you have it all wrong. The Slytherins had been insulting a small first year."

"So? He could have taken away points, or something."

"Lily, He did that. He also gave them several detentions. But, it didn't work. They were large, and weren't leaving the girl alone. So, he stunned them."

"An, Lily," Marlene added. "Weren't you attacked by the Slytherins on the train? And he had to stun them to get them off of you?"

Lily looked down.

"How is that any different?"

"And how d you know about that?" Lily finally said.

"Oh, I know everything."

"Well. He also so immature!"

"Lily?"

"Yes?"

"What's so immature about him?"

"He does all of those harmful pranks!"

"Lily, you do know he hasn't pranked anyone this year, other than Slytherins, and those pranks weren't harmful, right?"

"What about the one when the Slytherins were attacked by thestrals?"

"Oh, yeah! It was funny because you couldn't see them, and run away!"

Alice saw Lily frown at Mary.

"Lily," Alice cut in. "That was Sirius. Remus told me."

"Oh. Well, he still asks me out so much1 I don't get any personal space! It's downright annoying!"

"He hasn't asked you out since last year."

"Well, ugh! He's also an idiot! I can't date someone who's dumb!"

"Lily," Mary began, patiently. "He is one of the top students in our year, after you and Remus. He is not an idiot."

"Fine! You try and come up with reasons to hate Potter!"

The girls were shocked. Lily had practically just admitted she didn't hate James, maybe even liked him.

"Lily," Marlene said softly. "Is this because of Camilla? The fact that he ruined our friendship?"

Lily buried her face in her hands, causing Marlene to wince, because her painstakingly hard work with the make-up was ruined. But, she didn't say anything. She instead, wrapped an arm around Lily, and Mary and Alice watched on keenly, as they weren't friends with the two back then.

It was a while before Lily nodded.

"Lily,' Marlene comforted. "This would have happened sooner or later. You shouldn't be crying over spilled milk."

Lily raised her face, which was covered in smudged make-up, and had a few tear tracks running down the sides. "How can I not cry? Camilla was our friend!"

"You're thinking as if Camilla acted like me, or Mary, or Alice. Remember what Camilla was like to us, even when we were friends?"

Lily looked at Marlene, blankly.

"She was always thinking she was better than us. She shunted us to the side when it came to boys. She was perfectly nice when we first met her, but became rude and horrible to us. We were her posse. She copied your homework, and used me as a 'witty remarks/comebacks machine. You once said 'she treated us like dirt.'"

Lily's face was growing blotched with anger as Marlene went on.

"And, she dumped guys left and right. But, when she developed a crush on the guy you had liked since the beginning of first, she just pushed your feelings aside, so she could have him for herself."

Alice decided to cut in. "Lily. We know you do like him. You're just shunting those emotions to the side."

Lily looked up. "You know what?" she asked confidently.

"What?" Marlene replied, smiling.

"She was a right arse to us. Now, I'm not admitting to liking that prat, Potter yet. But, I think that a little revenge should serve as our just reward."

"And what do you have in mind?"

"I say that we steal her little date from her, and show her what it feels like to have someone leave you!"

"How are you going to do that? Dance with James."

"No, just somehow make him break up with Camilla."

The four broke into wide grins.

"And you know what that means?" Lily asked, grinning.

The other three shook their heads.

"I'll need to look absolutely _perfect_."

Alice giggled, and pulled Mary up. The two began styling Lily's hair to ultimate perfection.

Marlene reached to wipe off Lily's ruined make-up, and Lily told her, "Marlene, go easy on the make-up. If Potter's really crazy for me, as you tell me, then he shouldn't care how much make-up I have on. And I don't feel like walking around with a pile of goop on my face."

Marlene smiled, and began the long process of make-up perfection.

When the three were quite sure Lily looked absolutely stunning from the neck up, they pulled her up, and she changed into her dress.

Alice was pulling closed the ties to the dress, and Lily gasped, "Why did I go and get a dress with a corseted top?"

After that, Mary was smiling all the way through her job of artistically placing Lily's jewelry. Once Marlene had finished putting on Lily's shoes, she stood up, and admired Lily with Mary and Alice.

"You look beautiful," Alice smiled.

"You're definitely going to give Camilla a run for her money, tonight," Marlene smirked.

"Aw man! You guys took the good compliments!" Mary whined.

Lily grinned. "Well, I say it's time we go downstairs, and knock the guys out of their socks."

Alice smiled, turned, and headed down the stairs. She walked straight towards Frank, who was chatting with Evan, Remus, and Sirius. Peter was just standing idly next to them. They were all wearing black tuxedos.

"You look gorgeous, Alice," Frank said softly, when she came down.

Alice grinned. She was wearing a spaghetti strap sapphire blue dress, which puffed out below the waist. She had sapphire earrings, and a satin wrap around her shoulders. Her hair was in two identical, slim braids traveling down her back.

"Why thank, you. You don't look that bad, yourself."

Just then, Sirius bounced by.

"Remus… Why is Sirius bouncing around in an orange tuxedo and bunny ears?"

Remus smiled sadly. "He wouldn't get a black one. And, as for the bunny ears, he just put them on tonight."

"Why don't you take them?"

"He used a sticking charm?"

Sirius bounced over to Alice.

"Alice! You want to meet Bobita?"

"Not really…"

Sirius still pulled out an oyster in a pink dress, and _high heels_.

'You can have a dance with her later, if you like."

"No thank you."

"But I insist!"

"No."

Sirius opened his mouth to say something else, but Mary had just walked down the stairs. She was wearing an off the shoulder yellow dress, with ruffles down the bottom. Her brown hair was partially in a bun, and partially down. Lily had said earlier that Mary looked just like Belle from Disney's Beauty and the Beast. Whoever that was.

Sirius chose then to bounce over to Mary. Mary looked very uneasy.

"Excuse me," Evan said, making his way through the crowd to get to Mary.

Alice turned to James. "Shouldn't you be going to get Camilla?"

James looked downhearted at her comment for a second, but soon perked back up. "Right. I'll go now, I suppose."

James disappeared through the portrait hole.

"Poor guy," a voice below them said. Alice looked down and saw Celestina and Bilius.

Celestina was wearing a long sleeved purple gown. She looked just like a princess. Bilius was wearing a white tux, which he looked adorable in.

"Hello! Alice said brightly. "Shouldn't you b going down to the entrance to the great hall?"

"We decided to see what you all were wearing," Bilius responded.

Marlene popped up right next to them. "You missed my entrance, didn't you?"

Alice smirked. "Apparently."

Marlene had on a slinky blood red halter dress. It was asymmetrical, and slit up to her knee.

"Going for the modest approach, are we?" Remus asked, laughing.

"Yep," Marlene replied. "I saw Camilla's dress earlier today. It was my dress, in black, except it was obvious she had cut it to reveal more skin."

Alice shuddered. She had seen the dress too, and it was a disgrace to the poor house of Hufflepuff. The Hufflepuffs were all so nice and kind! And Camilla wasn't even up the standards of loyal. But, Alice guessed the sorting hat had to put her somewhere.

A footstep on the stairs broke Alice out of her reverie. There was a foot on the staircase, wearing Lily's dark green heels. The heels' ribbons wound themselves around her lower legs like vines. As Lily walked down, people's jaws dropped. Lily was wearing a strapless dress. It was dark emerald green, and had a corseted waist, with a puffed out skirt. Even Sirius had stopped bouncing and pressuring Bobita on people to watch. Lily had a strip of silver that curled itself around her wrist and arm, and a small silver circlet hugging her neck. Alice had to smile at Mary's handiwork. Lily's hair was up in a tight French twist, with a few strands falling out, and curling, framing her face perfectly. Lily had a small amount of silver eye shadow, a dash of blush on her cheeks, and her lips were red, and plumped to perfection. Alice was very proud of her and her friends' work.

Lily walked over to Remus.

"Well, Mary and Evan are going down together, Alice. Why don't you go down with Frank?"

Alice smiled, and left Lily with Marlene and Remus, the 'rejection club.'

The hall was crowded when Alice got there with Frank. Apparently, McGonagall wasn't going to let them in, until exactly eight o'clock. Alice picked out James and Camilla in the crowd, and she and Frank kept their eyes on him, as to get a front row seat of his reaction when he saw Lily.

A few minutes later, James' jaw dropped, and his eyes bulged. He looked as if he was going to faint. Camilla, next to him, looked as if she dearly wanted to throw something, and rip other things to shreds.

Turning around, Alice saw that the 'rejection club' had arrived, with Lily at the front.

Alice was grinning as she walked into the great hall.

There was a resurrected stage, on which the Hippogriffs were standing, surrounded by their instruments. Several girls broke into hysterical screaming fits at the sit of the band.

A slow tune began for the start of the ball, and Alice took Frank's hands. The pair started slowly revolving on the spot. Over her shoulder she saw Mary dancing contentedly with Evan; Camilla and James dancing; Celestina and Bilius dancing happily; Lily, Remus, and Marlene sitting at a table; and Sirius and Peter with their oysters. The best thing though was that no matter how happy Camilla was, James looked as if he'd rather be eating dungbombs.

Alice sighed with satisfaction and leaned her head onto Frank's chest. This was the best feeling in the world for her, being with Frank. And thankfully, leaning her head on Frank was allowed. McGonagall was yelling at other students ("Sirius! No kissing your date! NO tongues!").

When the song ended, it was replaced by a faster one, which Camilla and James sat down at. And he apparently wasn't allowed to sit with the rejection club. Alice kept on dancing with Frank. They danced for the next four songs, until they were too tired to dance the next song.

Alice led Frank to Lily's table, and they sat next to Marlene.

"So, are you doing anything other than wallowing in self-pity?" asked a flushed Alice.

"Well, we've been taking turns dancing with Remus," Lily replied.

"Aw… You're popular, Remus! Quite the ladies man, I may add…" Alice joked.

Remus blushed.

"It's peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat! Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!"

Alice turned to the source of the commotion, and found Sirius, doing a weird dance in the middle of the floor, his loud singing covering up the singing of the Hippogriffs.

Alice turned back to Remus, an eyebrow raised.

"What? He ate five bars of chocolate for lunch, and we made the mistake of making him it through getting ready!"

Alice sighed. They'd never fully escape Sirius' insaness.

"Marlene, how did you ever have a crush on him?" Lily asked, referring to Sirius.

"I didn't have a crush on him."

"What did you have?"

"An infatuation."

"Oh, that's really different," Alice scoffed.

"Actually, it means Marlene was just trying to get Sirius into her little black book," Lily corrected.

"Still, ew!"

Lily snorted.

"Shh!" Remus whispered.

"What?" Marlene asked.

"Look!" Frank exclaimed, pointing to the table one over. It was the table where Camilla and James were sitting.

"Jamesie!" Camilla squealed. "Why won't you dance with me?"

"I don't feel like dancing," James replied, simply.

"But, we only danced to one song!"

"That was enough."

Alice turned to Lily, and saw that Marlene had too.

"Lily! Go ask him to dance! It's the perfect chance!" Alice persisted.

"But…" Lily protested.

It was too late. Marlene pulled Lily to her feet, and pushed her off to James, whispering, "Go get 'em tiger!"

Remus and Frank turned to Alice and Marlene, looking confused.

"Oh, right," said Marlene. "We're just getting a little revenge on Camilla through Lily."

Remus grinned, and Frank said thoughtfully, "This could double as a matchmaking opportunity."

"That's the point," Alice smirked, winking at the guys.

They refocused their attention to Lily approaching James.

"Um, James?"

James whipped his head around in a flash. "Yes, Lily?"

"I was wondering, would you like to dance?"

"No, he doesn't," Camilla rudely replied.

Lily began to turn away, and Alice thought she saw a look of real disappointment on Lily's face.

"Actually," James said. "I would love to dance with you."

Lily smiled, and James stood up, leading her to the dance floor.

"But…" whined Camilla.

Alice never heard the rest of what Camilla had to say, because she turned to Frank, "Would you mind dancing? We can get closer and eavesdrop on the pair."

Frank smirked. "That would be wonderful."

The two walked out on the dance floor, Remus and Marlene following.

The two couples stayed close to Lily and James the whole song, as to listen in on what they were saying.

"So…" James began. "You wanted to dance with me?"

"More like, save you from Camilla."

"Thanks, but still, this is a turning point. _You_ asked _me_ out this time."

Lily laughed. "That's what friends are for, right?"

James looked downhearted when she said friends. Alice knew he had always truly loved Lily.

"Yeah, it is."

The two finished the dance in relative silence.

At the end of the song, Lily made her way to the refreshment table, as James walked over to Alice, Frank, Remus, and Marlene.

"Fun time?" Remus asked James.

"I guess."

"You guess? You just got asked to dance by your one true love, Lily Evans for crying out loud!"

"Yeah, but she only sees us as friends."

Remus patted James on the back.

"Frank," Alice said. "I'm going to talk to Lily."

Frank nodded, and Alice walked across the rampaging students covering the dance floor to talk to Lily.

"Lily?"

Lily looked up at Alice. "Oh, hello."

Alice raised an eyebrow. "You seem quiet."

"He thinks of us as only friends."

"Wait, what?"

"James. He only sees us as friends."

Alice was shocked. Did Lily like him?

"See, Alice, I just realized a few minutes ago, that James is more than I thought he was."

"How?"

"He's mature and sweet, and handsome, and so much more. It was like the world went form black and white to color!"

Alice smiled. Lily had broken down her barrier.

"So, do you like him?"

"It feels like I've liked him since who knows when! I feel like a mess."

"Lily… That's true love. You've had feelings for James since you met him. But you shunted them aside. Now that you've broken down that mental wall, there are a plethora of feelings waiting to come out."

Lily smiled. But the smile soon vanished. "He's with Camilla. I can't take him away from her. I'm not a slut."

"Lily, take as long as you need to sort out your feelings."

"Thank you, Alice."

Lily wiped around her eyes, and set off, back to the dormitories.

Alice watched Lily's retreating back, and turned around, to get some chocolate cake. She luckily got the last slice.

"Mmmm…" she moaned, enjoying the rich and scrumptious cake.

"NOOOOOOOO!!" cried a voice behind her. "NOT THE LAST SLICE! DIE ALICE!"

Alice realized that was Sirius, and walked, with the cake, back to the table. Sirius started running after her.

"Please! Let me have the rest!" he begged, latching onto her leg, so she couldn't move, and was stuck in the middle of the dance floor.

"No."

Suddenly there was a screech. Alice saw Camilla running right at her. Please be for the cake….

Unfortunately, Camilla wasn't upset because of the cake. Alice had done something to her. Camilla ran right at Alice, nails bared. She was a millimeter within scratching Alice's eyes out, when she tripped over Sirius.

Camilla went flying over Sirius, landing on a puddle of punch. She started sliding towards the refreshment table. With a bang, she crashed into the table, sending the contents of the table soaring, and finally landing on her.

Camilla stood up, groggily, covered in a unpleasant looking mixture.

"SOMEONE CLEAN ME UP!" she screeched.

Celestina bravely walked over to her. "I can," she said timidly, although Alice could tell it was an act. Maybe this was what she heard Celestina and Mafalda planning…

"DO IT!" Camilla screamed.

Celestina waved her wand, and Camilla was clean, and bald.

Camilla, of course did not realize this at first. But, when she raised her hands to run them through her hair, she felt oily skin.

She turned to Celestina, whom she glared at, and yelled, "WHAT DID YOU DO? YOU PUNY LITTLE FIRST YEAR HALFBLOOD!"

Celestina backed away a little, and Mafalda rushed behind her. This was obviously not part of their plan.

"You and that filthy Mudblood, Evans, are going to pay! You hear me!"

By this point, the whole hall was watching.

Camilla reached for her wand, but James stopped her.

"How dare you?" he asked, looking extremely angry. Like someone would look if they found out their significant other was insulting their closet friends. "How can you go around insulting my friends, and dare to call yourself my date, my _girlfriend_?"

"But! James! It was a mistake!" Camilla protested.

"That word is not something just slips out."

"Please forgive me!" Camilla whined.

"No. Its too late for that," James said distastefully, shoving her of his arm.

"But!"

"No buts. We're over Camilla," James spat at her, storming out of the hall afterwards.

"Miss Brown!" a voice exclaimed. McGonagall's voice. "We do not use those words here. And we don't attack other students. Fifty points from Hufflepuff, and a week's worth of detention!"

Camilla gaped at McGonagall, and soon stomped out of the hall.

Alice held onto her cake plate with one hand, and lugged Sirius along with her other hand. She headed to Marlene.

"Marlene, why was she trying to kill me?"

Marlene looked grim. "I don't know how, probably from Candy, but Camilla found out that Lily did something or other that she didn't like. She also learned that you had something to do with that. I don't know really. But, since lily left, she went for you. You were next in line, I guess."

"That's just great. We finally took two steps forward, but now we're taking another million back."

"How?"

"Camilla's probably just sworn eternal vengeance on Lily. Lily would never actually admit she's in love with James now."

"Wait, that's what you were talking about?"

Alice nodded.

"So, Lily knows she likes James?"

Alice nodded again.

"Finally!"

Marlene left to perform a glee dance, winding in and out of the other couples dancing.

Alice sighed, and searched the room for Frank. She finally saw him standing next to-

"Are you done with the cake yet?"

AN: Sirius said that last line, just to let you know. Hm… not too much humor, is there? But, all the other chapters are almost all humor, so… Well, did you like Sirius' outfit? I was originally going to have everyone dressed in dress robes, but I decided against it. Sirius' dress robes were orange, and I decided to keep the color. But, now, anyways, _**Review!!**_


	20. PARTAAY!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**PAR-TAAY!!**

James crashed onto the couch in the common room, landing his arse on the armrest.

"Ow…"

He was with Sirius, setting up decorations for what Sirius named 'Sirius' Awesome Beyond Awesome, Better-than-yours, So, So Cool, Very Groovy Party'. Or, the party that the Gryffindors got in exchange for performing the best skit.

It was New Years' Eve, and Sirius decided that 'his' party was going to be the best ever. He set up tables, had special food prepared, and even got fairy lights!

It was, though, very unfortunate that Sirius had to resort to slave labor to carry out his wonderful dreams. Meaning, James, Remus, and Peter.

Peter was just to small and weak to do anything, and therefore, sat in a corner, cheering for Sirius. And he was paid to do that.

Remus had brought a book along, and Sirius had screeched at the sight of the book. So, Sirius had taken Remus aside, and put him in a rehab (that Sirius had created) for book addiction. Remus was currently trying to escape.

James was now stuck with all the work. So, of course, when he was done, he was exhausted. Which was the reason for his flopping onto a couch.

James closed his eyes, in full intention of falling asleep right there. Sirius was getting up, from 'helping' Remus, and walked over to the stereo near James. James' eyelids were growing heavy, and he felt them gradually close.

Soon, James' was walking in the Forbidden Forest. Sirius was running behind him, with a bag of oysters in tow. James ran for his life, he was deathly allergic to oysters.

He was turning a bend in the clearing, and there was Remus.

"James…" Remus said, not turning around to face him. "It is you. I have been waiting for you."

Remus turned around, and James saw the book in his hands.

"What do you want?" James asked hurriedly.

"I must tell you; your heart's desire is not far away. Take this apple, and you shall have your happy ending."

James took the shiny, bright red apple, and as soon as he did, Remus began to fade away.

"Wait! What's going on?"

James turned around, for any sight of Remus, and Remus' words haunted him. _Heart's desire_.

James realized what Remus had last said, and took a giant bite out of the apple.

Suddenly, a tall figure with long auburn hair ran in, stumbling backwards. James caught the figure, just as the person fell over a large root. The figure landed backwards in his arms, the red hair covering his or her face. James looked over the figure, and realized it was a woman.

Then, Snape rode in on a horse, with Peter following on horse.

"Ah… Here she is. Peter, take her away!"

Peter nodded, and walked forward, pulling the woman by her arm to Snape. She was lifted onto the horse behind him.

"Please! No! Don't take me back!" the woman cried. She looked pleadingly at James, and he could at last see her piercing green eyes.

Snape sighed. "You are my bride to be. Nothing can change that."

James felt a sprig of remorse, as the woman openly sobbed into her hands.

Peter glanced regretfully between James and the woman, and followed Snape and the horse away.

James pondered what this was all about, as Sirius ran back in, with the oysters.

Sirius pounced on James, knocking him to the ground, and held the oysters threateningly above James face.

James could only see the woman's green eyes, though. The piercing green eyes.

"James? James…"

James cracked his eyes open. Staring right back at him were two startlingly beautiful green eyes, exactly like the woman's eyes in his dream.

James jumped, even though he was lying down. The person to whom the eyes belonged seemed hurt. Looking closer, James saw it was Lily.

"Lily?! What are you doing here?" James asked, shocked.

Lily seemed even more hurt. "Well, this is the common room. And, the party's already started. I thought you'd rather have me wake you up then some untrustworthy fan club member of yours. If you really want me to go though…"

James buried his head in his hands, and Lily bit her lip, and left.

"What just happened?" he groaned.

"You scared away Lily, Prongs," a voice behind him said.

"Moony!" James exclaimed. This was just who he needed.

"I suppose you had a dream you needed me to interpret?"

James nodded, looking confused. "How did you know?"

"Sirius has a dream he needs interpreted every night."

"Oh. But, can you?"

"Well, that's not really my field. Which is why I brought along Peter. You do remember his straight Os in Divination?"

James nodded.

"Brilliant. Now, sit down, and James, please recount your dreams exactly."

The three sat down, and James went into great lengths about what occurred in his dreams.

"And, I could only focus on her eyes, and then I woke up," James finished.

Remus turned to Peter, "Peter, it's your time to shine."

Peter nodded, and began flipping through his book, leaving James and Remus time to talk.

"You escaped rehab?"

"Yeah, finally."

"What was it like?"

"Well, Sirius decided that we were to have group discussions. But, I was the only one there, and so Sirius became a lot of different characters, and made up completely insane and impossible stories."

"Like…?"

"Well, once he said that he was a lady who read a book every two days, and it led her to depression, because she had to read so much. She also got carpal syndrome from turning pages, and became really stupid."

'Really?"

"Yep. He even spoke in a very high voice."

"Hilarious. But, why aren't you partying? It's really Peter doing the work, not you."

"Well, three reasons. One, I'm here for moral support. I'm really the marauder who understands you. Second, I don't party. Third, Sirius."

James laughed. Looking over at Sirius, he could definitely understand Remus' third reason. Sirius was hugging everyone in sight. He was also dancing very wildly. He was whacking everyone dancing with his arms, legs, head, and hair. Even if they were on the other side of the room.

"I'm done!" cried Peter.

James turned eagerly to Peter.

"Alright, this says that you are opposed to Snape-"

"Obviously."

"And he has affected your romantic relationship."

"How?" James asked blankly.

Remus looked thoughtful. "Well, Lily did dislike you for bullying him. And when she was friends with him, he semi-influenced her opinion of you."

"And, it says that I will betray you, but regret it."

"I forgive you for what you do, Wormy."

"Right, well, Sirius is a friend, but can hurt you, without meaning to."

"Again, obviously!"

"Remus is someone to turn to when in doubt, and is your trusted advisor."

"Why are we doing this? I already know all of this!"

"And that woman, who is so obviously Lily, is the love of your life."

James blanched. Love? That was awfully powerful. He supposed it was true, but why love when the feeling isn't mutual? And that was obviously the case. He couldn't be in love with Lily. He wasn't. It was just a school crush. That was it.

"No. I don't love Lily. Get that into your tiny little brains!"

James jumped up, and decided to get a butterbeer. But, before he could get a foot away from the couch, Lily stopped him. It looked like there were some tearstains on her cheeks, but it was hard for James to tell in the flashing strobe lights he had painstakingly put up for Sirius.

"Hi, James," she said quietly.

"Hello, do you know where Sirius is?"

Lily pointed over her shoulder, and trudged away. James looked at her retreating form. She was wearing a miniskirt. He had just noticed that. She sure did look hot in it. But she wasn't meant for him. No, she obviously hated him. And if she never wanted to see him again, he'd do that.

He spotted Sirius in the corner, doing what looked like spiking the punch. James sighed, and headed over to Sirius, and stop him. He was head boy, after all.

"Sirius! What are you doing?"

"Um… nothing!" Sirius hid a bottle behind his back.

"Sirius! You spiked the punch, didn't you!"

"NO! Yes- well, sort of…"

"How do you 'sort of' spike it?"

"It's spiked? Sweet!" Evan exclaimed. He scooped himself a glass of the punch, and gulped it down. Shortly after spitting it all out.

"It tastes fruity and minty at the same time!"

James' face contorted with confusion. He grabbed the bottle out from behind Sirius' back.

"Mouth wash? You spiked the punch with mouth wash?"

"Yes! It's tastes delicious that way!"

"Someone dropped you on the head as a baby…"

Evan was now grabbing a cookie to wash down the taste of the 'spiked' punch. As soon as he took a bit, he grimaced.

"Why does it taste like oysters?"

Sirius beamed. "You like it? I made it all myself!"

James rolled his eyes.

Evan was just about to throw the remains of the cookie in the trash, but Sirius stopped him.

"No! You will finish eating what you started Mr. Wood!"

James watched in disgust as Sirius forced Evan to finish the oyster cookie. After it was finished, Evan resolved to scrape his tongue of the taste.

"So…" Sirius turned to James. "You wanted to talk to me, Prongsie?"

"Not really sure, really, Paddy."

Sirius winced at the use of his abbreviated nickname.

"You see, the others say I'm in love with Evans, and I'm not sure."

"You're going back on your word? You always swore to us you loved her more than the world!"

"And I do- at least, I think I do."

"What in tar nation does that mean?"

"Well, she never has shown that she really cares for me, right?"

Sirius nodded.

"Well, I think that if she doesn't really like me back, there's no point in me loving her, right?"

Sirius sighed, and for once, James could see Sirius as a mature being. There were bags underneath his eyes, and that youthful glisten that was always in his eyes had disappeared.

"James. I think you do love her. But first, do you like her? As in, do you like her as a human being?"

"How do I tell that?"

"Well, what do you think of when you hear her name?"

James thought for a while, and finally answered, "Well, I think of the way her eyes gleam in the sunlight. The way her cheeks positively radiant when she smiles, and means it. How she has the most beautiful smile I have ever witnessed. Her kindness, she's nice to everyone she meets. She's smart. I can have an intelligent conversation with her, and she doesn't act all girly and squealish around me. How she understands me. The way that I feel around her. With her, I feel whole, I feel as if something I've always missed is back."

Sirius smiled, and James could see the old Sirius coming back. "Prongs, you're in love with Lily Evans."

"But- I can't! She doesn't love me!"

"Prongs, you must learn the feeling doesn't always have to be mutual. Anyway, you're only saying this to yourself so you can please her, by staying away."

"Padfoot…" James began. "I never knew you could be so deep."

"Sirius Black can be many things."

At this, Sirius spotted something across the room. He winked, and held up three fingers.

"Including insane," James added at this sudden outburst.

"Come on."

Sirius dragged him out into the hall, where there was an empty broom closet, with the door hanging open. Celestina was soon walking out, with Lily in tow.

"Sirius… What's going on?" James asked, very concernedly.

"This!"

Sirius and Celestina shoved Lily and James into the broom closet, and locked the door.

"What?" Lily screeched, rattling the doorknob. "_Alohomora!"_

The door refused to open.

"Sirius Black! What is going on?" Lily demanded.

"Sorry," sad Celestina sweetly. "But, we think it's high time you had a nice little chat."

"So…" Sirius continued. "We are locking you in this broom closet. The door knows when to let you out."

"Padfoot! This is not funny!" James yelled. "Let us out!"

"Sorry. I can't. No one (not from the inside or outside) can open this door until it feels you're ready."

James cursed under his breath as two pairs of footsteps were heard walking away. After the Fat Lady was heard closing, James turned to Lily. The two were looking very apprehensive of each other, and so backed into opposite corners.

After a few minutes of silence, James looked at Lily. "Well, knowing Sirius, we're not getting out until we talk, or whatever the bloody door wants us to do."

Lily looked at him, and for the first time, James saw that she had been crying. For a fleeting second, James wanted to rip whatever had caused her to cry into tiny little shreds. But, he shunted that emotion to the side.

"Fine. But, I'm not kissing you."

James smirked for the first time in a very long while. "I didn't think I was that bad of a kisser!"

Lily smiled, but soon sobered up. "Humph. You probably don't want to kiss me either, isn't that right?"

James was very confused. All he really wanted right now was to take Lily in his arms and kiss her. "What do you mean? If you think you're ugly or something, you aren't, Lily."

"No, that's not it at all!"

"Then what is?"

Lily's face was expressing a world wind of emotion right now. Finally, she decided to speak. "James, you have a girlfriend, who you seem perfectly content with."

"Lily, who are you talking about?"

"Camilla! Are you really that thick headed?"

"Lily… Camilla and I broke up. I dumped her."

Lily's expression softened. "Why?"

"She insulted Celestina, and you."

"Sorry, James."

"Well, I was going to dump her anyway."

"Why? I thought you two were 'the perfect couple'."

James looked almost wistful.

"James, there's someone else, isn't there?"

James nodded.

"Well, then I'm going to kill Black!"

"Why are you killing my best mate?" James grinned.

"He wants to set you up with someone you don't love! That's cruel!"

"I suppose that means we're friends again?"

Lily looked disappointed for a second. "Yeah, friends."

James felt let down. They were friends, and that was wonderful, but he couldn't help bt wish for more…

"Er- so, since we're stuck here, who is this other?"

James pondered. Should he tell her, and possibly ruin their friendship?

"She's quite beautiful actually-"

"That's a relief!"

"What, worried I won't get you someone pretty?"

"No, but with the hesitation, I thought you might be someone who swings the other way. Though, I wouldn't be necessarily surprised if something was going on between you and Sirius…"

"Ha-ha. Anyway, she has this wonderful fair skin, and red hair that goes beautifully with her green eyes."

Lily paled, and James could she her pale as he continued. He might as well get it over with.

"She's very smart. Top witch in our grade, top student, really. She can act like a normal person around me, and actually likes hanging around with my friends."

"James…"

The door clicked open. James thanked god that the door did at that moment, because he didn't want to have to face Lily at that moment.

He jumped out of the closet, and right into Camilla.

"Why, hello Jamesie! And Lily, too!" Camilla's eyes darkened at the sight of Lily. "What were you doing in a broom closet?"

"Sirius," the two muttered simultaneously. James realized that no one ever blamed Celestina. He'd have to have a talk with her later.

"Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have a few things to got over with Lily, here."

Camilla pulled out her wand, but Lily had it out already. Camilla was slowly approaching Lily. James wanted to do something, but stayed out, in fear.

"Lily, you are nothing but a filthy mudblood, and you don't deserve James. You stole him form me. Obviously brainwashed him. I will not stand for this. Hands off my Jamesie."

James rolled his eyes. "Camilla, when will you get it? I don't like you!"

"And she brainwashed you to say that! She obviously put you under the imperius curse."

Lily stepped forward, finally, and jabbed her wand into Camilla's chest. "You obviously don't get it. James doesn't like you. He isn't your property."

Camilla looked shocked. Lily walked forward, and Camilla kept moving back into the wall.

"You lying little mudblood! You dare say I'm false?"

"Yes, I do. And you want to know something? I think you're and effing bloody-"

But, James never got to hear the rest of what Lily thought. The portrait door slammed open, squishing Camilla, and just missing Lily.

It was Sirius.

"Oh, hello! You're out. I was just going to check on you. Well, you're just in time. The count down is starting!"

There were many muffled screams coming from the other side of the door.

"We might want to go in before the Fat Lady commits homicide," Lily suggested. Sirius nodded.

The three climbed into the Gryffindor common room, where, Bilius yelled, "Okay, everyone, when it's midnight, everyone grab someone to kiss, alright?"

Everyone screamed in approval/

"Ten seconds till midnight!" Sirius yelled.

"Nine!" called Mary.

"Eight," said Evan.

"Seven!" Frank screamed.

"Six!" cried Alice.

"Five!" Marlene exclaimed.

"Four," Peter squealed.

"Three," smiled Remus.

"Two!" Celestina sang.

"One," James and Lily whispered together.

Everyone turned to kiss someone. Mary and Evan kissed, Frank and Alice kissed, Marlene pecked Remus on the check, Bilius and Celestina shortly kissed, Peter kissed a fifth year, and Sirius kissed Bobita.

James and Lily, right after they said one, turned to each other, and kissed. James had immediately wrapped his arms around Lily's waist, and Lily had practically lunged at him, folding her arms around his neck.

After a minute or two, James broke apart, and whispered softly to Lily, "You don't know how long I've been waiting for that."

"I love you too, and all, but, James. Can you please return to snogging me?"

Jams grinned, and proceeded to snog Lily senseless.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY!"

AN: I know it doesn't quite make sense, but work with it. Please don't flame me about that. That is about the end, but there is one more chapter. This isn't completely done.


	21. Twenty Years Later

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: The last chapter! Woo-hoo! Though, it is somewhat depressing…

**Twenty Years Later…**

Celestina was at the magical radio station, where she was singing some of her famous songs, to everyone celebrating Christmas. It had been twenty years since James and Lily had kissed for their first time. Remembering it now, she couldn't help but smile. Her most popular song, A Cauldron of Hot Strong Love, was completely based off that romance. Celestina would kill for a romance like that.

But, she didn't. There had been too many deaths in the past years. As she waited for the commercial break to end, she sifted through the rack of old magazines. At the bottom, there was a raggedy old Witch Weekly. Flipping through it, she found a picture that looked exactly like James. Glancing at the accompanying article, she realized it was that fake stuff on Hermione Granger's love life. That magazine would do anything for news, nowadays.

Still, seeing James' picture brought up memories of her past life…

There were first off, the marauders.

Remus, she had stayed in touch with in the past years. She had helped him get random jobs, here and there, after she figured out his secret. He also filled her up on the doings of her other friends. He told her about the Order. Celestina would have joined, but that would lead to many fans learning it's whereabouts. Being famous singer might have it's ups, but it also had plenty of downs, including stalkers.

Peter, she had believed him to be a good friend, and a hero, until Remus had contacted her two and a half years ago. Celestina had never really known him that well, though.

Celestina had always been close with Sirius. He planned the broom closet stunt with her, and helped her and Mafalda plan out revenge on Camilla. Celestina had been horrified when she learned that Sirius was a betraying criminal. But, Remus had sent her the letter, and Celestina had felt a large weight lifted from her shoulders. Unfortunately, he had died less then a year ago.

Mary and Evan had married. Celestina was still very close to them, and they were family friends. She had dinner at their house often, and met their son, Oliver Wood. He was a charming young lad, and Celestina took a liking to him. She was named godmother (along with Frank as godfather), actually. She had secured him a place on Puddlemere United. She was just waiting for him to get together with his current crush, Katie Bell. She knew that Katie liked him back. Celestina sighed. She just might have to pull the old broom closet stunt, again.

Frank and Alice were also married. Celestina had been to their house several times. She had met their son, Neville, once, when he was a month old. A week after that, Frank and Alice were tortured to insanity by Bellatrix Lestrange. Celestina was one of the first to visit them in Mungo's. She could (and would) never forget how she had first bonded with Alice after the Slytherin had pushed her off the train. They never got better, but Celestina visited them every single year, on Christmas day, so they wouldn't be alone. That morning, she had actually bumped into their son. He was a strapping young lad, and Celestina prayed that one-day, he too, would find true love.

Marlene had also been very close to Celestina. Peter wasn't around often, and everyone else had a date, other than Marlene and Remus. She had talked to the pair many times. Celestina was heart-broken as she learned that all of Marlene's family, and herself, were killed at the hands of death eaters. Marlene was the one who had laughed with her at James and Lily's growing relationship.

James and Lily. Those two had set up her entire first year to be loads of fun. She had done her part, getting the two together, and witnessed their nauseatingly perfect romance during the second half of the year. James was the most wonderful boyfriend, from what Celestina could see. He walked with her, offered to carry her books (which Lily never did accept), made her laugh, and had once specifically told Celestina he would rather have his skin slowly peeled off, then watch Lily get a paper-cut. Lily was sweet too, and always faithful. But, Celestina didn't really pay attention to that, as she was too busy thinking about what she would do to have a boyfriend like James. Lily and James were the perfect match.

Not that they didn't have bumps along the way. There were many, many, many arguments, but then we all realized that the pair probably couldn't live without fighting, that was what they loved to do. There were also jealous fan club members. More than ten times, did Camilla try to break them up. She was successful, but only once. That time they realized two days later that they still loved each other, and got back together. Also, there was the time James proposed.

James had no clue on how; he just knew he wanted to propose. This was three years after they left Hogwarts. He was so unsure; he contacted every female he knew. Including me. Celestina was talking to him, my head in the fireplace, when Lily came down from the room they shared in their house (they had moved in together). She heard Celestina's voice, and was fairly groggy, therefore not recognizing it. She thought he was cheating one her, and ran away, crying. From what Celestina had heard, James chased after Lily for a good half of the night, until her caught up for her boarding a muggle plan. Apparently, Lily was leaving to the states, to find a calm place to think. She had an aunt who lived there, and always welcomed Lily. James stopped her, and proposed right there, in front of the millions of people at the airport. She said yes, and set the crowd cheering wildly.

Celestina giggled at the thought. It was really what Remus had told her, but she could picture it all happening.

They got married, and Celestina was a bridesmaid. James was in another tux, and Lily was in a beautiful white dress, with, get this, _crystals_, placed among her hair, which had been put up in an elegant bun. The Potters were rich, I tell you. Sirius hadn't worn his orange tux to the wedding, but the reception was another story. He was wearing a pink and yellow polka dot tux. However you get those. Lily told Celestina that Sirius had given them an early wedding present, a barrel full of 'oyster friends' as Sirius called them. Then, James added, cracking up while telling her, that Lily's grandmother had found the oysters, and cooked them for the wedding feast. Celestina remembered how Sirius was in hysterics when he reached the buffet table, and then Lily's great-great aunt or something, had shoved him onto the floor, saying she couldn't wait for the oysters as it was one of Lily's grandmother's specialty's. Sirius was hurt as that aunt licked the oyster plate clean that night ('Cannibalism! Cannibalism, I tell you!'). Sirius was too busy running around crying about cannibalism, Marlene had been nominated to read Sirius' prewritten speech, as Marlene had lived through all of it, participated in many of Sirius' stunts. It was a very hilarious speech, which ended up in Marlene threatening Lily not to hurt James.

Well, soon after, Lily and James had Harry. He was the cutest little thing, according to everyone. Sirius was somehow named godfather. Celestina was named honorary godmother, but it was never official. It was too bad that the pair were killed a bit more than a year afterwards.

Celestina could clearly remember picking up the paper that morning. The first thing she saw was 'James and Lily Potter found dead.' Celestina had cried for an hour, until she finally decided to read on. She had been in seventh year. Her boyfriend, Bilius was also heartbroken that his role model was dead. They had cried together for what had seemed an eternity. And though everyone else was celebrating the death of Voldemort, they joined in the celebrations halfheartedly.

Celestina also visited their graves annually. On Halloween. She always laid three white lilies, and something green, their favorite color. Celestina had never met Harry more than that, although she had heard numerous praises from Remus. She was planning on meeting him after his seventh year. She didn't want life too hectic for him right now.

So, that was seven deaths. Sirius, Alice, Frank, Marlene, Lily, James, and Bilius.

Ah, Bilius. They had stayed friends until fifth year. That was when they began to date. They were together for the rest of Hogwarts. After Hogwarts, they had stayed together, but had to separate. Celestina wanted to become a singer, and had to travel to pursue that dream. They never dated anyone else, and they corresponded through letters. She wrote three hundred and sixty five letters a year. She finally got her big break, but on that night, Bilius died. They said it was the Grim.

Celestina died the day she got the letter, with many condolences. She crashed into her bed, and slept, wept, and barely ate for a week. It was a week and half after his death when she had a dream. Bilius was there, and looked exactly like himself. Celestina knew at that point that he was from the afterworld.

"Celestina," he had told her, looking at her admirably. "I love you. I really do. And it pains me to see you like this. I went insane towards the end, not being with you, really."

Celestina had told him she'd do anything for him, in apologies for not being with him in his time of death.

"All I want is for you to go back to normal life. I don't want you to cry over my death. I wouldn't want you to act like this over me."

Celestina had nodded, and told him she'd never date another man. This had earned her a large grin.

Celestina heard someone snap their fingers. Looking up, she saw the station manager.

"Sorry, Ms. Warbeck. But you didn't seem to hear when I said that we're back on air in twenty seconds."

Celestina smiled. "No problem." Turning to the mike, she spoke, "Merry Christmas to you all. My next song, A Cauldron of Hot Strong Love, I dedicate to the one couple I knew and loved, Lily and James Potter."

As Celestina began to sing into the mike, there was a family far away, in a crocked, rickety old house listening intently as they chatted.

"My GOD! Arthur! Harry's parents! She knew Harry's parents!" a plump woman with red hair, named Molly Weasley cried.

Her husband, Arthur Weasley looked nervous. "Now, Molly. Please don't go hanging up Harry on your Celestina Warbeck wall!"

Molly didn't seem to hear. She stood up, and started inching greedily towards a boy with messy black hair, who seemed very uncomfortable.

Another person with red hair jumped in front of the boy. His names was Ron. "Mum, please don't do this to Harry! He doesn't deserve to die of starvation! He's my best mate!"

Molly didn't seem to listen. It wasn't until a young girl flung her arm out, protectively in front of Harry, that she stopped.

"NO, Mum! Not my boyfriend!" The young girl growled at her mother, causing the woman to scamper back to her seat.

"Boyfriend? Did you hear that, Gred?" another boy with red hair asked.

"Yes, indeed I did, Forge," a boy, exactly like the previous boy, answered.

"So, Harry, what do you think this means?" asked 'Forge', talking to the boy with messy black hair.

"Um… You need your hearing checked?" the boy with messy black hair asked nervously.

"No, this means BEATERS BATS!!" screamed the first identical boy.

"Hey! I thought it meant bludgers!" the second identical boy called.

"Hmm… Good idea, Gred. I like it. Why don't I get the beater's bat, and you the bludgers?"

The identical boys nodded to each other, and the black haired boy ran off hurriedly, the identical boys behind him, and the young girl running after, screaming obscenities at them.

After they left, Celestina's voice could be heard again on the crackling radio. "And this next song is for my one true love; Bilius Weasley."

"ARTHUR! WHERE DID YOU BURY YOUR BROTHER?"

AN: Now, that was the end. Hoped you liked it. Now, do you think I should write a one-shot on James proposal to Lily, you know, the one I mentioned in the story. Or maybe the wedding. Whatever, just review!


End file.
